Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Update (33weeks)

Today I had my OB appt.  Due to the itching, nausea, bellyaches and just feeling plain rotten, I got myself a date with the blood lady, and am now waiting for my call from the hospital for an appt for an ultrasound of my liver.  We're hoping it's nothing but we can't ignore the signs of possible bile salts..

My next appt with the OB is in 2 weeks, and then after that it will be weekly!  I will probably get to see the baby again at my next appt, too!  Turns out I am STILL measuring perfectly 5 weeks ahead.  If we're still growing on target, and still 5+ weeks ahead, we will for sure need to check on his weight and my fluids.

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On December 24th, I was 32 weeks pregnant as I turned 31!  I had a good day, the only thing I asked for was a guacamole burger...really!  But I was surprised that day...and confused! 

I woke up and my husband gave me my gift, which was a bottle of my favorite perfume, Givenchy - Hot Couture, and then we planned out the day and the dinner.  Imagine my surprise when a huge bouquet of flowers showed up at my door from my mommy!  Attached was a card "Happy Birthday Kelly!!  Love, Mom"  and a balloon.....

>confused<



I called mom up to thank her, and wait to see if it was a joke.  It wasn't.  It was a mistake.  I had my husband call to make sure it was a mistake, and NOT a statement that 31 meant I was getting old and ill.  They apologised and sent a bunch of Birthday balloons in return and a gift card!

Then UPS showed up....With a box of my favorite chocolates from my mom! 

I was STARVING, so we ordered my Birthday dinner to go, and went to pick it up.  I could hardly wait to walk in the door and bite into that burger!  and I am sure you can imagine my face when I did bite into it, and blood dripped out!  >confused<  We had to call in, and ask for another one and then we had to drive 15 minutes back there, and 15 mins home till I was finally able to eat it!  Oh and they gave us a gift card, too =)

Other than the confusion, it was a great day!

The next morning was Christmas!

Nathaniel and I went to bed sorta late that night in hopes we would actually sleep in.  BUT nope!  I got up at 5:30 am, and saw Nat was just laying there too! So we got up =)  It was a bit before 7am that I decided that we HAD to wake Jayleen up!  I turned on the kids hallway light, and said SANTA CAME!  and she flew out of bed, just like she did when she was 5 =)

The rest of the day we all lounged around and had a great time =)




Tuesday, December 21, 2010

You'd think I had a cat....

If you saw me naked!

I'm not talking about stretch marks, I'm talking about SCRATCH marks!  I am seriously itchy.  It started a few weeks ago, a bit of itchiness on my legs, then belly, and now....NOW I can't stop scratching!  I've tried lotions, cool baths....

Yesterday to be honest was the WORST day for the itchiness.  I scratched and scratched, till I burned!  My belly is now worse than my legs, and when I scratch it, it feels like it's on fire.  Last night I developed a red blotchy rash all over my belly.  Thank goodness it was gone by 10 pm.  I was getting worried.

THEN I woke up looking half chipmunk!  The left lymph node on my neck is puffed out!  I really hope I'm not getting sick in time for my Birthday  =[  All I asked for this year was a real whipped cream cake, and a HUGE burger.  Serious.

Calling the OB this morning, to see if there is anything she can prescribe for the itch.  I really don't want to be sitting in a tub of oatmeal, praying that it helps.  I want something that WILL help!

Wish me luck!


Update:  Yep, update already!  Nevermind about the OB being any help.  I had my husband call for me, BECAUSE they always try to sucker me into going to L&D everytime I try to get an appt that same day.  EVERY time they send me to L&D it costs me $100..They have sent me there 4 times already instead of seeing me.  So I wanted my husband to be more assertive than I can be with them on the phone.  (I have a hard time with being assertive, and being mean)  But nope!  They make you talk to the nurse who will assess the situation, and make the final decision, and she chose NOT to even speak to my husband.  When I want to talk about the problem, I am to call back myself.  I'd rather go to the drugstore and get Aveeno Oatmeal stuff.  Thanks.

Monday, December 20, 2010

32 weeks



5 weeks till I'm full term!
5 weeks till I start walking my butt off hoping I go into labor! 
7 Weeks till my scheduled C-Section! 

Holy crap!  When did I get into the single digit weeks?

I am 32 weeks pregnant, and I'll be 31years old on Friday! 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

31 weeks pregnant

Yesterday I had my lovely OB appointment.  It went well, till she measured my tummy.  I am measuring at 36 weeks....woah!  She said a good chunk of it could be because baby was sticking his bottom out under my ribs, or big baby, or extra fluid. 

So 2 minutes later I had an ultrasound!  Fluid level was great, baby looked awesome and then they tried to take a look at my old c-section scar to see which sort of cut it was.  Baby HATED it.  He was kicking up a storm, and didn't seem to like the pressure, or Mommy on her back.

We did get to see he has a head full of hair!  LONG hair!  Who knew you could see that with ultrasound? lol  He is also weighing in at 4lbs so far.  The Ob lady said not to expect a small baby  =)

Other than that, and how small framed I am, I am carrying all in the belly, which is really making me pop out, everything looked perfect =)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Crazy Week!

Wooo! The crazy week is finally OVER!

It's been a busy week, with visitors, a Birthday, a Christmas party...and just lack of sleep.  On the 7th my mother and one of her brothers flew in and stayed with us for 3 days to celebrate Jayleens Birthday.  And the entire time they were here meant we were BUSY. 

The 1st day they arrived we hit the mall for 3 hours, then Jayleens Birthday I made everyone apple pancakes, then lunch, and we had an appt at the salon to get our hair done, and Jays eyebrows waxed for the 1st time!  Then we had to head home so I could make a bunch of Chicken Gyros, eat cake and make it to the 9pm show of Tangled 3D.

The last day they were here, we went to the mall...AGAIN.  Called my husband at work to meet us to have lunch.  Came home, sat down for a few hours, then headed to Walmart then the Airport.  I slept like a baby that night!

Here are some of the pictures of the crazy 3 days! 

 Here is mom with the dogs.  The best thing about this picture is the bone that Molly is holding.  She had lost the bone in the yard before the big snow fall, and had found it that morning since all the snow melted.  It was MAYBE 2 minutes after this picture was taken that we noticed it had poo on it!
 Mom and Jayleen.  It's hard to get a picture of the teenager.  She has the timing down perfect on cameras, and the moment you snap the picture, her tongue is out!  This time I was a bit faster than she was...But that tongue was on it's way out!
 Right before we left for the airport.  I got a picture of the gang.  My husband, mom and daughter =)
AND this picture was taken last night, at 30weeks 4 days.  Someone made a comment that I looked ready to pop, and then asked if I was having twins....I am thankful to be pregnant, just concerned at how large people are seeing me as!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Sweet Heaven!

I found Gummy PreNatals! 

We went to pick up some more prenatals last night, and my husband said "Too bad you can't get gummy ones" and then the angels sang...or something.  We saw the glorious pink bottle!

Been a busy couple of days.  I'll have an update soon =)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Feb 8th

That's the scheduled C-section!

Once we get my op notes to see what sort of scar I have on my uterus, I may try a vaginal birth...IF I go into labor on my own by Feb 8th!  Also depending on babies size...

And that brings me to the rest of today's appointment..We showed up for our appt right on time, but it seriously took them 30 minutes before they came and grabbed us!  I was starting to bite my lip when I saw other ladies coming in with appts for 15 and 20 minutes after mine.  Turns out they were suppose to reschedule mine!  But they had forgot. 

They ended up giving me a Starbucks Gift Card to say sorry =)

My blood pressure was perfect, like always.  The blood work for my glucose test came back perfect, 'cept that I had a high white blood count, and need to have another blood test at my next appointment.  Baby is still measuring on the large side (by more than 3 weeks!) and he's head down now!  Lord knows that this little acrobat could do another somersault just to show off at any time!

Next appt in 2 weeks!

Monday, November 29, 2010

sick

I rarely ever get sick.  I catch a cold once every couple of years, and I can't remember the last time I had the flu.  This year I was talked into getting the flu shot by my OB.  I tried to talk my way out of it, but supposedly there are benefits for the baby after birth...Who knows.  I'll be upset if I turn into one of those things in that Will Smith movie, I am Legend.

Since about 20 weeks I had developed the pregnancy symptom of being stuffed up!  Seriously, such an odd symptom.  It usually hits me at night and sticks around throughout the morning.  Nothing too terrible. 

Starting on Thanksgiving I got a headache and it's -STILL- with me.  We didn't have any Tylenol in the house, so I chose to live with it till Saturday, the day after Black Friday to go to Walmart to get some.  I checked my blood pressure while I was there, to make sure it was fine (headaches could be a sign of high blood pressure) and it was 124 over 73, which was fine, so I grabbed my Tylenol and headed home.

Today I can't stop sneezing!  Every 5 minutes I sneeze 8 times in a row!  I am perma stuffed, my head feels like a balloon that is being pumped and my ear hurts =( 

I think I have a head cold.  Time to start googling to see what I can take.  FML

Saturday, November 27, 2010

That time of year


Christmas is coming!


That also means my 31st Birthday is around the corner (Christmas Eve baby).  We have so much to do the next few weeks, that I am hoping that they just fly by! 

I still have to set up a small get together for Jayleen's 16th Birthday which is on Dec 8th!  I am totally counting down till when I'll have cake =)  We're flying in my mom and 1 of her brothers to celebrate with us for 3 days.  It's going to be great to see some familiar faces...it feels like it's been too long.

I'll have to do my Christmas Decoration post soon.  We went out this year and got monogrammed stockings for each of us, I LOVE them!  I filled candy bowls around the house with all sorts of treats, Candy cane mints, Christmas Hershey Kisses....I am sad to report that they are now empty!  (Common! I was hungry!)

I also want to give a warning out!  I saw a cute 1 piece Jammie set at Target the other week, and I NEEDED it.  Sure I looked like a child from Whoville, but I LOVED it.  Till I went to the bathroom, then it felt strange.  Like I was going to -potty- naked!  Weirdest thought ever!  Onesies are adorable, but still sorta give you that no no feeling....

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Mmmm Turkey

Today is a busy day!  With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I have so much to do.  I decided it would be better if I make some of stuff today, that way tomorrow I am not overwhelmed.  I woke up and made Cranberry sauce, and now I have the pies in the oven.  I will make the dinner rolls this afternoon, and the cookies and treats later. 
I am one of those girls that has to make EVERYTHING from scratch.  I do so so I know what we're eating.  It means extra work, but extra good!

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The baby flipped again!  Now he's laying sideways...  I am hoping that soon it will be nice and tight in there, and he will get stuck ;)  Please stop making me pee myself...

I had the neatest feeling last night.  I could feel him snuggling in, and then I felt the hiccups again!  My belly was showing the rhythm, and the Doppler picked it up!  It was so strange and neat! 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's beginning to look like Christmas...Yes I'm wearing a onesie.


When the snow started to fall yesterday, I couldn't help myself and had to start decorating! I am HUGE on Christmas.

Before my trip to L&D yesterday, I managed to decorate my fire place, the front door, my office, and get 2 tree's up!  It looks like someone threw up Christmas in my house! 

I'll get some pictures up this week.  I'm trying to pretend that I waited till after Thanksgiving, so I'm not opening my blinds =)

ICLW

Welcome ICLW readers!  You can read about my journey to pregnancy on my side bar.  I was lucky enough to catch every step to my pregnancy on my blog, from the 1st positive OPK in YEARS, right down to slightly positive HPT's, and baby's 1st ultrasounds.

Well, I had myself another wonderful night in Labor and Delivery!  This is #3 for me in 6 weeks.  I honestly have to blame infertility for my 1st 2 trips.  I am a paranoid mama!  From the beginning I've been super scared and worried something will go wrong.  I've even made myself pregnancy goals.  Goals that I can't even keep, I change them weekly.

12 Week goal - The moment I hit 12 weeks, a girl in my Due date club lost her twins at 14 weeks.  Time for a new goal!

16 Week goal - Another lady commented that she won't feel safe till she hits 19 weeks, cause she miscarried at 17 weeks. UGH!

20 Week goal - Someone delivers

Then came the viability week, 24....Now it's week 28.  Which is in a few days!

Anyways, back to feeling robbed.  I am constantly worried, and feeling robbed once again. 

When we 1st moved here to Boise in Oct, I was worried my bag of water had a leak...Imagine my surprise after a few hours in labor and Delivery, to be told that I had peed myself.. Oh man

The 2nd time I had cramps galore, and had an irritable uterus due to dehydration and sex! 

This time, I was determined to stay away from L&D.  So, I went to the ER! and they treated me like I had the plague.  The wouldn't touch me.  I had to go to L&D!  I've been having some stomach pain that happens right below my ribs in the middle.  It comes on all of a sudden with no warning, lasting for 15-30 minutes.  Like a really bad tummy ache.

On Friday night we went to Khol's then Walmart to get a new Christmas tree and I was hit with the pain.  I wanted to lay on the ground.  Finally it went away and I went about my business.  Last night was the worst!  It had me throwing up. and I felt like a lunatic who couldn't sit still, because if I sat down for even a second, the pain radiated to my back.

I finally was discharged 2.5hrs later with a "If you're still hurting on Monday call your OB again and get a script for Zantac"  Didn't I just see one of the OB's from my OB/gyn? yep! But they don't seem to think it's harmful to you or baby.  bye.  I'm hoping that it's done, whatever it is.  It's been happening for 6 days, randomly.  Just a really bad belly ache in that one spot that hurts straight through to my back. 

GAH!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Baby Bop!

The baby is really active this afternoon, and by time I thought of grabbing the digital camera, he had slowed down.  Here's a short video of him practising his River Dance moves. 

You can see action on my right side at 0:05, 0:10 and 0:16 of the video.  Please don't mind the jammies!  I only have 2 pairs of pants fitting at the moment, so I try and get away with jammies while I'm home :P

ps. The music you may hear faintly in the background, was someone Else's blog music lol

The Baby Bop





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Monday, November 15, 2010

Week 27

Tomorrow I will be 27 weeks pregnant! There is some confusion as to when the 3rd trimester starts, some sites say 26 weeks, some say 27,...Babycenter says 28weeks.  I will go with 28 weeks!

1 more week to go!

The Start of the Nursery

I've always had ideas of what I wanted the nursery to look like, and now that I am at that point, I can't decide! 

When I was freshly pregnant we saw a rocker/recliner at Costco that was super plush and comfy, so that was our 1st purchase.  Because it was chocolate brown, I decided that I would need dark brown furniture to match.  Depending on the sex of the baby, we would go brown/pink or brown/blue.

I thought the hardest part was picking out the furniture style, it seriously took me weeks to finally pick one!  But now that that's all done, and the walls are painted "blue booties", I can't seem to decide on a theme!

I don't want too many bright colors, but I also don't want it all dark and gloomy.  I found a 4ft tall Giraffe that's on Amazon and I MUST have it.  I was also looking at wall decals, and I was going to do trees.  And now I found a local artist that does nursery murals...So I am still trying to decide on a theme!

I thought I'd share the start of the nursery.  We're still waiting for another curtain panel to come, and we need baskets for the change table, and the walls are BARE! I'm hoping to start working more on the nursery in the coming weeks.  It's a really busy time of year! We have Thanksgiving, my Mom and Uncle coming to visit the 1st week of Dec, then Jayleens 16th Birthday on Dec 8th, Husbands work Christmas party on the 11th, my Birthday on Christmas Eve and then Christmas!



Friday, November 12, 2010

My other babies - My Furbabies

I love my dogs as though they were my children.  The moment they get hurt, or act differently, I bring them straight to the vet.  It's costly, but I can't imagine losing them, especially to something that is treatable.

2 weeks ago I blogged about the big dog Molly.  How she has bad hips, and then a fall that injured her.  We brought her into the vet and got some pain meds for her, and we were on our way.  Exactly 1 week later she developed a sneeze.  I remembered a rescued shelter dog that someone brought in and they were trying to let that dog "meet" Molly.  It was getting me upset because Molly is protective of me now that I am pregnant.

Anyways, that dog was sneezing and coughing. 

I called the vet the same day the sneezing started and I was livid.  They grabbed the file of that dog and claimed it was his breed that made him breath and sneeze that way.  2 days later, my little dog got it.  On Monday we brought them into the vet and got them on some antibiotics.  Yesterday Molly seemed a bit better, but Tokyo was worse. So we brought him back.

On Monday they said it was an upper respiratory infection and the little guy started on Amoxocillin every 12 hours, and Molly on some huge pills.  Now they are on the same meds, plus a weekly dose of something else incase it's nose mites?  and the little guy is on antihistamines. 

I was hoping for some more sleep last night.  NOPE!  The little guy was WORSE.  Blowing his nose everywhere, sneezing, and then going into a reverse sneeze that makes him sound like he's blowing a horn to warn us he's dying. 

So far $300 later, and I am PRAYING for some improvements this weekend.  I am losing my hair.  I think I just love them too much!   If he's not better by Monday, I will be taking him back...to a different vet.

Oh yeah, this "Mite" drug...could have a bad side effect.  If I notice them looking drunk, or anything close to being out of it, I am suppose to call right away and get them in there, because it's highly toxic.  GREAT!

Here's my little guy.  He's been hiding behind furniture where the sun hits =[

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Passed!

I passed my Glucose test! and my Iron levels are normal!

Yay!  I can't imagine trying to down that nasty drink again.  and to be fair, I was totally looking forward to it.  For days leading up to yesterday, I would look at that orange drink in the fridge and my mouth water.  I heard others describe it as a sweeter version of the McDonalds orange kids drink.  Not bloody so!

No more GluCola for me!

A crabby post - I was Glucola drunk

I had an awful OB appt yesterday. It was only my 2nd time being there, and I was amazed by how busy it was. The waiting room was packed with pregnant ladies, which started to make me feel like I was just another number. They had the financial lady come get us, to say that my monthly payments are $200/month, that I paid $200 last appt. and I need to pay 4 more times. It was bothersome, because I knew this..and yet they do these visits as a surprise before your appt. like they are worried you're not going to pay. So I paid it off entirely so I don't have to see her again.

Back to the waiting room.

Then a nurse comes and gets me, and brings me back to a bench to sit on and wait for my blood to be drawn. The older lady was trying to make small talk, and it was awkward. I just drank an hour before the nasty Glucola drink, I have heartburn like I drank a freaking glass of lava....Give me a break

Back to the waiting room.

20 minutes later another nurse gets us for my appt. About time! I've always looked forward to my appointments, and this one just seemed like a let down. I didn't get told what my blood pressure was, what the fetal heart rate was, what was my belly measurement..It was a quiet appt. then the doctor came in...Most socially retarded person, ever. He wanted to know about baby's movements, because I mentioned to the nurse he's been quieter this week..He gave me a kick counter sheet, and said that I am at the point in my pregnancy that I need to count kicks /daily. I asked him if baby was more quiet cause of a growth spurt? he hrmmmed for a whole minute, and said maybe, but not likely. I said do alot of baby's get quiet at this point? Nope! then went on that if it continues then a Still birth is what he's guessing will happen.

WTF.

I then told him that I wanted to try a vaginal birth after c section. He looked pissed. Like I was wasting his time! He gave me correct information, how there was like a less than 1% chance of my old scar ripping, but that he can't okay it, until he saw my op notes from my 1st c-section. Oh, he forgot to add that I had to try and get them myself, because his staff doesn't call out of State for that stuff.... Oh, so I am suppose to call from Boise, Id, a hospital that I haven't been at in YEARS, say my maiden name, and that 16 years ago I had a c-section there, and could they give me my op notes?

Frustrating.

And then he left the room, popped his head in, and handed the nurse a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Delivery flyer. and that was it.

I had my husband go back, and at least ask for my measurement. I needed SOMETHING! I am measuring 2 weeks ahead, which is perfect.

The front desk nurse was to book me another appt. for 4 weeks from now...and she came up with Dec 1st? Whatever. I took it, and asked for another doctor next time. and I got a nurse practitioner. Of course.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

15 weeks to go (14 till C-section)

And today I am having a debate...Whether I should try a Vbac.  My last OB was very strongly recommending a  'section, especially since baby is "very wanted".  But now I am worried about any additional pregnancies I may want.  With each 'section, the risks go up. 

I have my next OB appt next week, and I think I'll discuss with him what he thinks I should do..My worry is baby getting stuck and me leaving with no baby. 

I really need to pray on this

25 weeks

wow!  I am 25 weeks pregnant!  I remember when  I just found out and I was having all those problems, and I couldn't imagine this pregnancy past 6 weeks.

It's awful the way infertility robs you of so much, not just the ability to get pregnant.  In the beginning of the pregnancy I was just praying to make it to 12 weeks, then one of the girls on my due date thread lost her babies at 14 weeks gestation.  I remember freaking out a bit, and praying to make it to 16 weeks.  At 17 weeks I was feeling confident, then there was another girl who lost her boy at 20 weeks exactly. Ugh

And that's when I set my new goal to 24 weeks, viability.  I am now 1 week past 24 weeks, and I have set a new goal....28 weeks.  When I opened up Msn news yesterday and saw that Lily Allen lost her pregnancy in the 6th month, it freaked me out. 

Will I be more comfortable that I'll be bringing home a baby when I hit 28 weeks?  Or will I find another magic number? 

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I sure can tell that the baby is bigger and stronger!  This little guy is still in his favorite position, Breech.  So when he gets going with his River Dancing moves, I feel it in my Vagina!  and because he's been working on his fitness ALOT, it hurts!  When he moves around my entire belly looks like a scene from Alien!  and of course my husband LOVES feeling him kick.  Some times I swear it's a game, Nathaniel will put a hand on my belly while baby is dancing, and then the baby will STOP!  Like he knew the jig was up, and he was caught.

I'll try to get a picture today of me at 25 weeks.  Yesterday when I was in the kitchen my husband asked me to turn sideways,...Then commented that over the weekend I really POPPED!  I don't quite see it yet. 

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Great Fall... -Updated-

 I had plans last night for a relaxing evening, with a Decaf Pumpkin Spice Latte, Charlie Browns Great Pumpkin, then Grey's!  But like usual, something else came up....

30 minutes before Charlie Brown started we decided to take the dogs for a walk, to poop them out.  On the walk my husband was playing with my little dog, as he held the leash for the Shepherd.  He was jogging backwards as my dog chased him.  And then he fell...And Molly (the Shepherd) came to the rescue, and Nathaniel lost his footing again, and fell on her.

She seemed fine, other than wanting to be hugged, and stopping for kisses all the way home.  I noticed an hour later she was limping a bit, but that was her normal.  When she was younger she use to escape her crate and after the last big escape that made me put the crate away forever, she developed a wiggle in her walk.  When it gets cold out at night she will limp a bit, or after playing Frisbee for 10 minutes or more, she will limp a bit.  I assumed she had arthritis, or a hip problem.

Well, around midnight last night (5 hours after the great fall) she was crying really loud.  Usually she's in my room, sleeping on the floor beside my side of the bed with her head underneath...So I got up to check on her.  She was in pain, and couldn't walk.  I had my husband place her on her bed and she seemed good.

Today she's limping and crying.  So she has a vet visit this evening.  I am hoping at the least they can give her something for the pain, and take some Xrays to make sure nothing is broke. 

I find it stressful when my dogs are hurt.  =(  Especially since the moment they get scared or hurt they come running to me for help.

Praying that she will be alright, and that the bill won't be as expensive as the hospital bill that I got last week from going into preterm labor from dehydration and sex!

Update:

She has hip dysplasia, and arthritis.  She will more than likely be on pain management pills for the rest of her life, since surgery is not an option at the moment.  But she'll be okay!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Food 11

This year Jayleen is in grade 11, and some of her extra classes sounded fun,...Sounded being the key word.  Maybe if I wasn't exhausted by lunch time every day it wouldn't be so bad.  Today she had to take a basic muffin recipe they gave her, make that, and then make a different version.  She had choices between extra fibre, and changing the flavor, or changing the fat and changing the flavour. 

Easy, right?  no, exhausting!  and the basic muffin recipe tasted like something you'd feed a toddler or an elderly person.

Did I mention my job was to stand by and only watch?  oh, and take pictures.  I think that was the exhausting part, just watching.  I am one of those people who would rather just take over and do it myself rather than teach someone how to do it.

So I gathered my pictures, and I have to write my part of the report and send my stuff in tonight.

Food 11 is hard, y'all!



Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Hi nipples...



I know you're gearing up for the baby, BUT leaving big wet circles on my shirt when I am not expecting it, is starting to embarrass me.  Oh, and you could stop turning chocolate brown.  I sort of liked the light pink color you once were.  I am sure the baby will find you with ease...you know, since you're the size of dinner plates now, and a rich brown!

That is all

Pregnancy Update!

I am 24 weeks now!  Viable Baby!

I went in at 19 weeks for my Anatomy scan and had them reconfirm he had a penis =)  After the anatomy scan we went home and got a call that the doctor wanted to see us to discuss the findings.  45 minute drive back seemed like 3 hours.  Everything was going through my head.

Well, it was a doctor we haven't seen yet.  He was older and a bit rude.  Turns out he just wanted to say that the spine image he got was blurry, but everything looked fine and based on my NT, in his opinion, the baby seemed healthy.  What he really wanted me in there for was to discus my weight.

Are you kidding me?  I don't know how much I've gained with this pregnancy, and I don't want to know.  I know that I put on some of the weight I lost as soon as I started eating normally again, and my exercising had to stop due to bleeding at the beginning.  But seriously?  He lectured me for 20 minutes on just my weight alone.  I tried to make light of the situation by cracking jokes, and he wasn't pleased.  He looked disgusted.  And that's when I decided that I was happy we were moving, and I was getting a new OB.

Here is his 19week profile



1 week after being here in Boise I started to feel "wet".  So we decided to have it checked out and make sure it wasn't my bag of water leaking.  It wasn't...It was increased vaginal discharge and I may have peed myself...ya, weird, right? haha  But from that visit I was able to find my new OB!  He had me come to the office a week later for my 1st prenatal visit, and a quick ultrasound, to check on the "spine" 

This OB office is a bit more expensive than the old one, but way worth it! 

So here are some pictures of the baby at 22 weeks and some shots of me!  Please ignore the "myspace angles"  and the pouty looking face in one of them, I promise I was trying to be hot for my husband, not you =)




<----21 weeks

<----23 weeks


Location - Boise, ID!

We've been at our new home for 2 weeks now.  I am almost done unpacking and finding where I want everything.  The house is abit smaller than our old house, but it seems more cozy.  We lived in a 3 bedroom 2 floor house for 3 years and now live in a 1 floor 3 bedroom.  The downsize is that the 3rd bedroom cannot be an office.  It's a nursery!  So we're using the formal dining room as our office.

The weather is taking some time to get use to.  It's almost always sunny here!  I am use to not seeing the sun for weeks at a time.  I was super excited to find out we have built in air conditioning when we 1st moved in.  It was THAT warm.  But now it's freezing! 

The neighbors are annoying.  Well, their kids are.  They were at my door 4 times a day for the 1st couple of days.  They are rather young, age ranging from 3-7.  Kids seem to migrate towards me, but right now, I could really use some quiet time, especially since my dogs hate them. 

The dogs... The drive here with them in the car for 13/14 hours was AWFUL.  Our shepherd didn't like when any of us left her view for potty breaks, she would flip out and try to jump through the car window.  She was being very protective.  My little dog was all over me, and was caught eating a McDonald's hamburger in the car...which made him sick.  The Valium that was prescribed for them didn't do anything!  and then was advised to pick up benedryl.   That seemed to knock them out for a while.  But made them sketchy and weird the next day. 

Other than that! We're settled down and getting use to it.

Missing in Action - I'm Back!

It's nice to be back!

I had to take a -mini- blog vacation.  There was someone posting on my blog who really wanted my attention.  So much that he started to contact me via facebook, and through family.  WEIRD.  So I took my blog down for a bit to help them forget about me =]

So much to catch up on!  Time to flood y'all with some updates =)

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Move is ON!

My husband got the job offer through his work!  For supervisor role!  Which means double the money, and RELOCATION!

The poopy side....

Need to sell my Canadian Van
Need to reroll daughters school for online
Need to Pack
Need to do alot of this ALONE while husband goes and finds us a HOUSE!
Need a new OB
Need a moving company for help...
Worried about my gremlin dog in a car for 8+ hours

Oh, did I metion that all of this has to go down in 3 weeks?  Lord help me!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I survived!

2 root canals in 3 hours!

I have to go back in 2 weeks since we ran out of time today, so I have temp fillings in.  They numbed me up pretty good and I honestly didn't feel much.  The only thing I felt was a dull throbbing pain in my lower tummy...

I woke up with a constant ache, and called the OB from the dentist, to see if they were okay with me sitting there for 3 hours getting a root canal with this pain. They couldn't fit me in till 1:20pm anyways, so they said to go ahead with the root canals. 

We had to stop off at the lab to give a urine sample to rule out a UTI, then headed to the OB.  I don't have an infection!  Turns out I have "Irritation of the Ligament Nerve"  I always get the round ligament pain when I get out of bed, and lately I've been getting up every 2 hours to pee, so it makes sense.

Baby looked great.  I'm only a bit over 16 weeks and the baby's sac is measuring up to my belly button already.  Probably cause I'm short?  and I got for my regularly scheduled OB appt next week!

Root Canal Day!

Hooray!?

no, BOO!

I've never had one before and now I get two in one sitting.  GO me!  I am scared to death, but trying my hardest not to even think about it, cause worrying, and stressing about it won't help.  Heck, it will only make me bitchy there, and the moment anyone looks at me funny, I may use that as my excuse to just leave. 


~~~DEEP BREATH~~~

Monday, August 30, 2010

Brown/Blue

A few people at my husbands work knew that we were having a hard time TTC.  They knew because of all the time we had to get off last year for all the cycles we did.  So I thought it would be cute to make them cupcakes that would reveal the gender of the baby.




You would think that it being blue would be a HUGE hint, right?  Nope!  One of the ladies thought we were announcing we were adopting a brown baby.  what?!  Is it because of the frosting color?  So strange!


What's even more strange is looking at boy clothes!  It looks like the cupcake colors will be the main colors of his room!  There seems to be alot of dark browns and blues =) and I'm okay with that, unless they tell me at my anatomy scan that there is NO PENIS, that it was a mistake!  ha!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

It's a...............

BOY!!!

Boy was I wrong!  I had myself and others convinced I was having a girl! ha!  And he was proud to show us what he had within a minute of the ultrasound!  Then he got shy, hid it with 1 hand, and sucked on his other.  She kept checking and he then he finally gave  up and gave us another good shot, and then we got some pictures.  We also got a 20 minute long video of the entire ultrasound =)  Was amazing.

This morning before we left I had everyone tell me what they thought I was having, and only my husband and mother said boy!  So I called my mom from there and asked her again "What do you think the baby is?"  and she said boy...I said it's a boy! and she started screaming IT'S A BOY!! - IT'S A BOY!!!. she was shopping with her friend at the time! hahaha!

So there we go!  Amelia has a penis, and can no longer be named Amelia :P

Friday, August 27, 2010

Randoms

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord for a night of sleep...

Serious.  That's what you'll hear if you eavesdropped in my bedroom at night.  Pervert. 

My sleep has been broken up so much the past 4 nights, that I'm waking up exhausted.  Just the past week I've been getting up 3 to 4 times a night just to pee, and having the most bizarre dreams!  Like, WEIRD dreams. 

The other night after I got back into bed I heard a ~Thump~ noise, and quickly thought that I must have kicked off one of the remotes and it hit my little dogs stool that he uses to get on the bed.  Then I heard my big dogs dog tags jingle, and I thought maybe she hit her head on it...Oh well!  She's big.

Later when I got up AGAIN, I crawled off the end of the bed and almost jumped on the big dog.  She didn't even stir.  I went to the bathroom and when I came back, I saw that her head/shoulders....basically half of her body was UNDER the bed.  I thought she was dead.  So I went over to her and tried to feel her heartbeat and breathing.  Nothing.  Then I was like -F- it!  I'm to tired!  nothing I can do about it, and went back to bed. (totally not like me)

The next morning  my husbands alarm went off and he does his normal routine, he lets the dogs out.  I usually lay there a minute or two, until he comes in and tries to get his sex on, and that's when I'll just get up and leave :P  Anyways...I go to hop off the end of the bed again, this time I moved slower than usual, and I felt the big dog with my toes..I screamed " SHE IS DEAD!!!!!" and hopped back on the bed. and up jumped the dog.  I guess she didn't get the memo she was dead. I'm not sure who was more scared, her or me.

Lack of sleep is doing me in!
---------------------------------------------------

On a more normal note.....

TOMORROW IS ULTRASOUND DAY!  My appt is booked at 10am, so we need to leave the house at 9am!  I am debating if we should give my mother a call while we're there and let her hear the news as we find out, or if I'll make her wait. 

All I do know is I'll be baking a few dozen cupcakes Sunday night with either blue or pink cake batter.  I just need to remember to pick up the silver cupcake paper tomorrow.

I decided I am going to brave it, and say what I am like 90% sure this baby is.  When we 1st found out we were pregnant I thought boy.  I grew up with a huge family, LOTS of cousins.  All girls.  All of us have kids, all of our kids are girls.  Each cousin has between 2-4 kids, all girls.  I thought I was going to end the girl streak, especially since girls are some what rare on my husbands side.

Then in August my cousin gave birth to a boy!  a 10lb 3oz boy...

And that is when I was like, I'm having a girl.  All old wives tales say girl.  Chinese gender says girl, baby's heart rate is always over 150...AND I've only been looking at girl stuff, and we for sure picked out the girls name. 

So my prediction for tomorrow is GIRL! 


**stay tuned**

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Frustration

Like 6 months ago I may have blogged about my husbands work closing down locally and how we may be one of the ones hired on at the new offices, and we'll relocate.  Well, we're still waiting.  They laid off half of the staff, and then laid off 10 more a month ago, and my husband has been lucky not to be one of those folks =(

We were told that he was one of their best employees, and he's been awarded with almost all of their good employee coins, monthly.  His bosses even said that he would be an asset at the new offices, and didn't doubt that he would be one of the 1st hired on as a supervisor.  Well, 14 job applications/interviews later and he STILL hasn't been hired on.  Their excuses are silly.  The first half a dozen were based on "sonority"  and now the guys who have only been with the Company a few months are beating him out cause "They grew up at the new company and already know how to run things there to their liking"

I am about ready to call them up myself and give them a piece of my mind!  My husband has been dedicated to this company, working harder, and putting in more hours.  And now you find every excuse not to hire him...Is he too nice?  Can you not see him in a supervisor position because of this?  Cause if that's the real deal, tell him! you probably already know he doesn't bite.  But me?  I'll rip your head off..

Anyways, The last position he applied for was 3 months ago, and he never heard anything back.  which is funny because once you're hired, you have only 2 weeks to get there.  AKA, we have to pack, find a new house, move and settle down in under 2 weeks.  FUNFUN!  But 2 weeks ago he got a call that they narrowed it down to 2 guys, and he was one of them, the other guy is a new guy, of course.

He did his 2nd interview via phone and was told we would know Monday the 23rd.  Monday came and went...FINALLY yesterday the guy emails him back to say it will be the end of this week, or well into next week before he can make an announcement...For serious?  Because my daughter is starting school up VERY soon and I am frustrated as heck to think that we have to put our life on hold ANOTHER week to be shot down.

I would love to start packing some more, I would like to know not to purchase a bunch of perishable foods this weekend.  I would need to find a new OB asap and schedule my 20 week ultrasound.  I would really like a head start at finding us a new house cause some of the pickings are slim!

I'd honestly just would like to know one way or another.  I'm a tad hormonal, and alot of this will be left on my shoulders since I'm the one at home throughout the day.  I'm a planner, I like to know stuff well in advance, especially if my husband is going to lose his job come November when they close the doors locally...and there goes our insurance. 


Sorry for the whiny post, but this is what's been on my mind for months....

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Zero Patience

After I blogged about finding out the baby's gender I got a call from my mother. 

It went a little like this"

Mom- "OMG! find out baby's gender!"
Me- "We are =)"
Mom- "WHEN?"
Me- "In 5 weeks!"
Mom- "OMG! find out baby's gender. **now**"

This Saturday seems to be the day!  I spoke with the owner of the U/S place in town, and she said they like you to be 17+weeks, but will take me earlier.  She can see the sex on some baby's at 14 weeks easily, and if for some reason they're not 100% sure, or the baby is playing shy, I can come back up to 3 more times for free =)

Monday, August 23, 2010

sex? yes, please!

About a week ago I all of a sudden didn't want to find out the baby's sex.  I don't seem to have very many surprises in my life and it was the one surprise that I could control.  Well, that thought went right out the window!  I reminded myself that I am the person who not only looks for my Christmas gifts, BUT I actually open them, and reseal them.  Like for real.

We have a choice.  I can book my Gender revealing Ultrasound at the 3d/4d place in town for $89.  Or I can wait 5 more weeks for my anatomy scan and see if the tech will tell me.  I think I will wait 5 more weeks.  Trust me, it's taking me every bit of strength not to book the Gender U/S!  No idea how I even thought I could wait till the birth :P

Of course my husband will be finding out this week if we have to relocate.  With my luck it will be BEFORE my anatomy scan!
-------------------------------

We may have some names picked out!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW!

Welcome to my little space on the interwebs =)

A bit about me:

Started TTC in 2005, and shortly after I was diagnosed with PCOS and my husband diagnosed with moderate male factor infertility.  We tried numerous clomid cycles and got no ovulation, even on the highest doses.  So last year we moved on to injectables with iui's.  Then came the IVF and the Frozen Egg Transfer....and the bills.

After the last failed frozen transfer last Christmas I decided I needed a break.  Emotionally and Financially.  I needed/wanted to start the new year off taking care of me.  Over the years I really ate my emotions and found myself weighing in at 231lbs by the end of the year.  I focused all my energy on getting healthy and the weight started to fall off. 

It wasn't too long that all I could think about was TTC.  Especially since I started to get a period monthly, I hadn't had a regular monthly since I was a teenager.  I started blogging about finding a new GYNO, and figuring out how I was going to approach them and see if they would prescribe me clomid, so I could see if starting back at step 1 after getting healthy would make a difference.  I had my appointment date of June 9th.

It was May 26th that I finally got my 1st natural positive OPK (even blogged that too! ha!)  and not even 2 weeks later I started getting positive pregnancy tests!  June 9th's appt turned into a pregnancy confirmation and I am now just a few days shy of being 15 weeks pregnant =)

The best part is that I got to capture all these life changing events on my blog.  Who knew that I would have a record of some of the most important events in my life just by blogging.  I love it!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Doctors appointments..

On Tuesday I had 2 doctor appts.  1 for the OB, the other for the dentist.  I left BOTH visits with some hefty bills!

OB: Was my 14 week check up.  Belly was measuring 15 weeks and baby's heart rate was in the 150's.  We got back the results of the NT scan and blood work.  We have a 1 in 10,000 chance of baby having downs and something else that I can't remember the name of.  The doctor was happy with the results.  All my blood work came back great as well.  I go back in 3 weeks for another check up and then another 3 weeks for the 20 week Anatomy scan.

We found out that we hadn't hit our deductible yet, so that explained a $380 bill they gave us.  Plus they want us to start paying $85 every 30 days for the birth of the baby.  I just need to clarify with them that if we do have to relocate soonish, that the money that we have to put towards the birth will be transferred to the new OB.  It's really confusing.  I come from Canada, so I never worried about this sort of stuff, it's all new to me.

By the way, I totally feel the baby moving now!

Dentist:  I had my dentist appt later that same afternoon.  I have some sort of dentist phobia.  It all goes back to my childhood, where our dentist I swear was a torturer!  My brother didn't like the needles, and he told the dentist that he didn't want one...so he didn't get one!  I also had partial braces, so I was at the dentist alot for adjustments.  Anyways...2 years ago I had my top wisdom teeth removed and I chose sedation dentistry..I fell in love that day.  So next time I needed another extraction and a filling, I chose the little blue pills again!  Who knew going to the dentist would be so easy and relaxing! I slept for 3 days...

There was a downside to this... My husband chose to stay in the room while I was having the work done because  I was totally out of it.  The chance of me remembering anything that happened would be very slim.  So imagine my surprise when I was told what I said when the doctor was wiping the blood/drool from my lips "mmm It feels like you were kissing me softly" Oh and I managed to pee the bed on day 2.

Fast forward to Tuesday.  I was told that I have to have not 1, but 2 root canals.  I almost died.  I've never had a root canal. EVER.  I've heard horror stories about them.  The worst part is that I have to be awake! The dentist promised me it would feel like I was getting a cavity filled...Uhmm I don't know what that feels like!  I tried to get them to put it off till after the birth of the baby so I could be knocked out, but I have an infection pocket =[ 

I was also hoping to scare them with the pregnancy...No such luck, the OB said it would be safe.  FML!  Oh, and then I was handed a parting gift.  The bill of $2468 (yes, 2, 4, 6, 8)  My insurance will cover 50 and 80% of some of the procedure, but I have a $1500/yr maximum.  This lovely thing should be going down within the next week, they are being overly dramatic making it out that it can't wait any longer...I think he has a payment for a boat due soon.

Oh, and on top of all of this...The hospital and the blood lab bills came in!  And then my husbands car croaked, so it's at Napas right now getting a new fuel pump, a filter and the gas drained from the oil tank and have to get an oil change and a NEW BATTERY! Weeee! 

So, I'd like to take a moment and say Thank you Mommy for helping!  When it rains, it pours!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Monday, August 16, 2010

Doppler

We finally got a doppler!  Well, my mom bought it for us, and we had it overnighted.  In our little town you don't get mail to your house, you have to rent a post office box.  So I was checking the tracking every 3 minutes all morning and the moment it arrived, I went for a walk.

I wasn't even home 30 seconds before I tore open the box and started frantically searching for baby.  I was so happy when I thought I found him/her.  But then I noticed that it was my heart beat -76-! lol  I think I found the baby 10 minutes later, but by that time I had to get up and walk away.  I was scaring myself.

Well, I didn't get to finish writing this post before I went to look for it again!  This time I found a heartbeat of 143.  I called my mom and went to let her listen...and the baby moved.  blah.  Maybe next time mom!

Tomorrow morning I have an OB appt, and then a dentist appt in the afternoon.  Last weekend I ended up in the ER with such a bad tooth ache, that it was determined that since I am pregnant and my gums are more sensitive I got a bacteria infection.  fun stuff.  T3's, penicillin and a needle in the cheek later, and I am sorta looking forward to getting rid of this pain once and for all. 

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Letter in the mail...

We got a letter in the mail addressed to both myself and my husband.  We couldn't open it.  We knew where it came from, we knew what it needed, we knew what needed to be done.  We knew it would not be easy.

It was a letter asking us what we would like to do with our 4 frozen embryos.  It was a letter wanting us to pay $1500 to freeze them another year.  It was a letter wanting to know if we were going to give them a chance.  We decided to let them go.

It was not an easy choice.

In December we thawed 4 embryos and had 3 survive, but were only allowed to transfer the best 2.  I know that just because that cycle didn't work doesn't mean that these last embryos wouldn't work.  We just can't financially right now do it =(

It sucks when infertiles can't have treatments because of financial reasons, and it hurts to know we can't give these embryos a chance.  We would have to pay $1500 this week, and then again next summer.  I would not be able to do a transfer while breastfeeding...Not to mention we have no idea if we will be relocating again soon...Jayleen has college in 2 years, and I have baby gear I need to purchase within the next 5 months.

It's just sad no matter how many reasons I come up with.

I'm sorry little embryos.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Thankful Thursday

I have alot to be thankful about.  But the main ones on my mind is that I am thankful to be in my 12th week, and that my 2nd trimester is just a few days away!

and thankful that I am having fastfood for dinner!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Wiggle Worm

Wiggly

Today's Ultrasound was good.  I had to pee so badly, that I couldn't stand it anymore.  So they let me pee just a little.  And because with my 16oz of water, I mixed in some orange juice, we got ourselves a VERY wiggly baby!

The 1st tech couldn't get a profile view of baby because it was squirmy and facing the wand.  She was pressing so hard on my belly to try and -capture- it so it wouldn't move.  Well, the baby HATED it, the moment she would stop pressing, it would start doing flips and using the side of the sack to push itself fast to the other side. 

She then brought in the other tech.  She was able to angle the wand on my belly to get some side shots, and then was able to measure behind the baby's neck for the NT.  She said anything less than 3 is normal. anything between 4 and 7 is a concern.  Ours wasn't even 1.  She said baby looked great, and she could clearly see the nasal bone, too.

They sent us on our way with 6 more printed pictures, and a disc of pictures and short video clips!  In one of the video clips that you can see on our youtube, she told me to cough twice, and as soon as I did the baby started waving it's arms, then kicked!  It seriously did the worm!

oh yes! Baby measured great  11 weeks, 2 days

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Cheater

That Diet went out the window.  I stopped pricking myself, too.  My sugar levels have been great, and I don't over eat, so I figure I'll just watch what I eat and check my sugars randomly instead of every 4 hours.  Also because I was alot smaller in the waist, I am starting to notice even my underwear digging in just above my pubic bone! I bought all new clothes at the beginning of summer, and now they are starting to get tight, like across my chest!

Want to hear something crazy and strange?  I am still getting jealous over other ladies BFP's.  Seriously.  I think it's because I am still worried, and I still feel like I some how cheated the -Infertility Club-  After a few days, I get excited for them, and I count how far along behind me they are, and try to remember how scared I was at their stage, and how I am just now starting to think that this MAY happen for me.

And the awesome news...Tomorrow I get to drink LOADS of water, and not pee for an hour!  Wow.  I am not sure how I am going to do this.  I drank a green tea, went into Costco 30 minutes later, and almost peed myself.  Tomorrow I get to over drink, and get my tummy pushed on!  It's my 1st abdominal Ultrasound.  I am getting the NT scan done to check for abnormality markers.  I'm just doing it so I can have another ultrasound to see the baby :D

Am I just the only crazy person who prepares herself for the worst before EVERY ultrasound? 

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Date at the Diabete Center

It wasn't that bad.  I was worried I would be living off of green leaves or some crap like that lol.  I was taught how to check my blood levels, and holy cow was I a chicken.  I held that little machine and seriously stomped my feet as I tried to psych myself up to push the button and prick my finger!  and I couldn't do it.  the lady had to do it for me. lol!

I don't get it!  I did muscle injections in my ass at least 65 times last year, and at least 10 shots in my belly, yet I couldn't prick my finger. So it turns out my sugar levels spike high, and then drop,...alot.  Which she didn't seem happy with.  So alot of this will be trial and error to find which foods work for me.

I will admit that I left that appointment and went and grabbed a huge Costco Hot dog and a strawberry sundae!  Then I came home and ate some more crap, and drank some apple juice (She said no more juices for me!)  Tomorrow the torture will begin!  aka, the diabetes diet.

Anyways, as I write this I am sitting here eating a nut bar and a bag of veggie chips, you know...to make sure it's not "poison" before I start to eat this stuff tomorrow!  I'm so full I could either pass out, or throw up.  Right now either one sounds like sex.

Disclaimer: YES, I know I shouldn't have hogged out, but I couldn't help myself.  I'm sure once I restart my metformin tomorrow all of this  food will be flushed out =]

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

1st Pre Natal Visit

This morning was my first prenatal visit. There was alot of information, lots of questions, and an ultrasound.  Oh, and more appointments.  Appointments for another prenatal, nutritionist, Nuchal Translucency Ultrasound, blood work, and urine testing.

The news:  I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes already!  I've been given metformin for many years, and it was only more recently that I became faithful in taking it, and when I found out I was pregnant, the old OB office told me to stop it right away, cold turkey.

I am insulin resistant...my weight has been sky rocketing since getting pregnant.  I am now on the diabetes diet, taking metformin, and have to check my blood sugars 4 times a day.  If the Metformin and diet can't control it, I will start insulin.

And the other news:  I will be having another C-section.  We will plan for the date for 39weeks, but depending on baby, it may be earlier.  When I went into labor with my daughter I didn't know I was in labor.  I was in the very SMALL percentage of women who don't feel their labor.  I actually went to my doctor to get a sleeping pill because I could not sleep for almost 2 nights, and she checked my cervix and I was 7.5cm dilated. 

I went to the hospital and they broke my bag of water, and she had pooped.  They decided because she was distressed that I would need to be induced to speed things along, and once they started that process, it all went VERY fast, the contractions were one on top of another and the pain all of a sudden became too much.

Her heartbeat was dropping, and it at times would stay really low, so I went for an emergency c-section.  The mentioned the cord was wrapped once around her neck, but the kicker?...Her head was such a cone shape!  It was literally wedged in my pelvis that they had to really tug her out.  There was no way she would have survived a vaginal birth. 

The doctor talked to us a bit about it, based on scar, and a small pelvis, he advised us that he would suggest a repeat c-section.  We didn't talk about a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) Which made the decision easier.  Anything to cut any risks down.

My next prenatal is in 4weeks, and on the 30th is the scan to check for down syndrome.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Gorgeous Dress

I NEED this dress.  The End

The Dress

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Cervix is long and closed, there is no evidence where the blood is coming from, and baby once again is clueless as to what's happening. 

This all means...your guess is as good as mine, and the professionals.  It made me feel better that they said the main thing is that baby okay and that my cervix is long and closed.  Some times pregnant ladies bleed and they can't find where exactly it's coming from.  There was also no sign of my Subchorionic Hemorrhage. 

Only advice they gave me was to live life like there is no bleed. 

Baby is definitely bigger, heart rate much higher (174) and she said baby looked awesome, even measuring a bit bigger than it's gestational age.  We saw the umbilical cord, and the blood flow in it, and she showed us the developing brain!  In this picture baby's head is on the left, chin to chest, and it's little bottom is sitting on it's yolk sac!


Friday, July 16, 2010

Paging CRAZY LADY

I've had a good week.  Got to see the new Twilight Movie, got some cooler weather...no spotting.  Then yesterday happened.

For 3 days I've been having mild side pinches.  Every 30 seconds or so, and I read it was normal.  Then came some cramping.  Like I had to lay down because it hurt.  Around 10pm last night it went away.  Even the pinching.  BUT I had an awful night.  I couldn't sleep.  I think I got maybe 2 hours.

This morning my husband told me that he was having nightmares all night.  Nightmares that I was telling him I "Lost the baby" .  For some reason that made me nervous.  3 hours later when I went pee, I wiped and glanced down, and saw red.  I am not sure how long I've been bleeding...I've pretty much trained myself the past week not to look anymore because the light brown spotting was making me too nervous..

When I went into the bedroom to make the bed, I noticed I had a small stain on my side of the bed!  I didn't notice because I've been so hot at night, that I've been sleeping naked. 

So here I sit again waiting for an OB call, to see if I can get in to make sure everything is alright.  I'm worried that they will ask me to wait till Tuesday when my appt is...But I just can't.  I will end up in the ER worried, and get another ER bill..I would rather they make time for me today, and save me the hassle of going to the ER for the 3rd time this EARLY pregnancy. 

I must look like a crazy lady to them...and they must be kicking themselves in the behind for accepting me!  (they weren't accepting new patients)

**Update** Emergency Ultrasound at 3:30. 

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Date Day

Wooo!

Today the husband and I are going on a date.  A movie date.  Best part? It's my choice! See, my little secret is that I sorta/kinda/almost/maybe like the Twilight movies.  The acting is terrible, but I enjoy feeling like a gushing teenage girl when I watch it.  And that my friends is what I picked to see!

We chose the 11am showing, in hopes to avoid annoying chatty teenagers, but with my terrible luck, it will be packed with them, and they will all be gorgeous and like 6ft tall and sit in front of me.

Anywho! the plan is Movie, return a shirt to Target and hit Walmart. funfun!

(The shirt is one I bought on the weekend my mother was in town...I feel HUGE in it, so time to return it!)

Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's Resolving!

Verdict: It's resolving!

We saw the bleed on the ultrasound, and it's on it's way to the cervix!  Which explains all the bleeds and discharge!  The OB said that I didn't have a tear afterall, but had a deep implantation bleed that caused the hemorrhage. 

The baby? PERFECT! It has arms, legs...and a tail!  Oh, and a perfect heartbeat of 154!  It's going up nicely.



In this picture you can see to the right of the sac a little black mark, looks like 8 little circles in a cluster..that's the bleed!  She says it's on it's way to the cervix, so I am assuming my cervix is on that end :P

Monday, July 5, 2010

Tomorrow

I made it the long weekend without any red bleeding.  Heck, there were times when I had NO brown spotting.  I usually have the heaviest spotting in the morning when I wake up, but the past 2 mornings I've woken up to nothing.  Before I get too excited, I have to remind myself that I will have good days, and then followed by bad days.  Some women think it's resolved and it makes it's appearance when they're least expecting it. 

What I forgot to tell y'all about my OB appt I had when I found out I was pregnant, was that it was a disaster.  I didn't get to see an actual OB, or even get to talk to one...Even after the 1st ultrasound when they suspected ectopic.  I just kept getting seen by a nurse.  A nurse who made it very clear that I was bothering her, and that she had other patients to see.  So I switched..again.

My 1st appt with the new OB was scheduled for the 20th of this month.  I got an early ultrasound appt with them for last Monday just for viability.  But I got a call on Thursday from the new OB herself to let me know that I needed to come in right away after the long weekend.  She needs to do an ultrasound and figure out how at risk am I.  She also mentioned that I will have to be watched carefully, and will be a high risk patient. 

And that appointment is tomorrow.  I am excited to see the baby again, and to see how much it has grown since last week, but I am also petrified at what else we may or may not see.  I have been praying for this to heal, and heal fast so it doesn't affect how the baby is developing, but I have little hope...I am still cramping, and I am still spotting, and I am exhausted, all signs that it's still there.

If you wouldn't mind saying a prayer for us tomorrow I would really appreciate it.  Or just keep us in your thoughts =)  My appt is at 11:30, and we should be back by 2pm.  I'll update as soon as I can.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Bed Rest

Yes, I am 7 weeks pregnant and I am on bed rest.

Yesterday was day #8 of every morning bleeding.  Yesterday was probably the scariest.  Yesterday was the day that I decided that this all seemed to strange to keep ignoring, and I went back to the ER to get it investigated.  Then I left the ER with a diagnosis and told I have a very high chance of a threatened miscarriage.

DIAGNOSIS: Subchorionic Hemorrhage

Scary part...It now all makes sense.  In my 1st ultrasound the tech mentioned "free fluid"  So when I had my 2nd ultrasound I told the tech that I already knew about the free fluid, and she noted seeing it aswell.  Then at my 1st OB ultrasound, the tech just looked at my ovaries, and baby and said the spotting is just the free fluid.  she didn't look around much more.  And the OB refuses to see me till I am much further along.

Lets go back to yesterday...

I woke up at 5am to go to pee.  I see RED.  I wiped and wiped till it was much lighter and barely there.  I went back to bed and woke my husband up to let him know that I think I am miscarrying.  I get back up again to check, and this time the blood looked PURPLE! but it wiped back down to a watery red very quickly.  It was over.

I looked up everything I could about miscarriage and what to expect, and it all seemed very text book, the signs I was having.  But the strange part was that by 11am, it was back to very light pink, and mostly brown again...By afternoon, it was the brown spotting.

So last night I panicked.  What if it wasn't a full miscarriage and I'll get an infection..So I went to the ER.  I explained to the doctor what happened and he believed I more than likely miscarried, so he ordered blood work and an ultrasound.  They were very caring and considerate.

When I went in for my ultrasound, the Tech told me she didn't have the big monitor on the wall on that is usually for the patients to watch the ultrasound because she has been burned in the past...huh?  That she doesn't give any information, that we will have to reply 100% on the doctor.  Well, We were able to befriend her in 5 minutes, had her talking about her kid, family, and everything under the moon...so she started to talk about the ultrasound!

She found the sac, and the baby right away...PHEW!  The baby has grown since Monday and his heart rate is 130 now!  Right now the baby seems unaffected by the current events.  But we finally were able to see the problem.  She pulled up the old ultrasound photos aswell, and there it was.  A huge tear behind where the placenta is. 

So, for a week I've been saying everyday it seems like it's getting darker, and it's strange how it was mostly in the morning the darkest is because it pools up while I am sleeping, and then works it way out in the morning and then the slow leak through out the day.

The bad news...It's pushing the placenta away.  If it gets a good bleed or pools up, it can loosen the placenta, or stop nourishing the baby because the blood flow will be bleeding out.

And that is why I am on Bed Rest, and 100% pelvic rest (aka no sex)  They gave me 50/50 odds of me keeping the pregnancy.  He said it really could go either way, especially since in 8 days it has just been getting worse and worse, and I haven't done anything strenuous.  The other crazy thing is that my body does NOT like the blood loss.  I have been more dizzy than before.  Since I've gotten pregnant, standing up, or moving makes me dizzy and see spots, now it seems I am dizzy just moving fast, or get light headed standing there. 

Oh! Get this...They want me to go to my local Fire Dept. everyday to be monitored for my blood pressure.  I am assuming this because there are no doctors or pharmacies in my small town. lol  I won't be doing that!  I'll just monitor the bleeding myself, and go in if it's too much.  ( Blood pressure was 105/51 all night at the hospital)

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Bean


Here is the little bean!

I had my ultrasound today, and it was AWESOME!  The little bean is measuring behind by a few days, but I was told that that was normal, and it will fluctuate from being behind to ahead at times.  The baby's heart rate was on the slower side, at 114 bmp, but was also reassured that it will go up everyday. (If it isn't 1 thing, it's another!)  We aslo figured out the bleeding/spotting!  When I had the other 2 ultrasounds they noted there was free fluid in my uterus, well it's gone.  The tech seems to think that may be the spotting. /shrug

*Based on my last period, my due date would be Feb 16th, but based on measurements today, they say it would be Feb 20th.


***By the way, the top is not the baby's head!  It's the yolk sac! But it sure looks like a perfectly formed baby head hahaha - The baby is the blob under it =)***

Friday, June 25, 2010

Been Quiet

I've been quiet for a few days because I don't want every post of mine to be negative, or a roller coaster ride.  I've been trying to hold on till Monday when I get another ultrasound, and hopefully some good news.  I have promised myself that once I see everything is okay, then I will stop worrying and enjoy it as much as possible.

It's really hard to explain the way I am feeling..I think I am having a hard time believing this is real, or even believing that this will work out because it almost feels like I cheated.  That I was only suppose to get pregnant via ART.  Sounds crazy, right?  Well, I feel crazy right now.

Yesterday morning around 5am I went to pee and saw the dreaded pink.  I called my OB again, and reported it like I was told to.  I got a call back saying they wanted 1 last beta test to make sure it hasn't dropped.  But I was warned not to expect it to double, that between 4-6 weeks it doubles every 48hrs, but between 6-8 weeks it slows down.  Glad she warned me, because when I found out it didn't double I still couldn't help but google it.

Tuesday 10681, Thursday 17393

I woke up this morning and there was the pink to greet me again...This time (TMI) it was pink and egg white mucus.  Like the same stretchy/snotty kind of mucus you get when you're ovulating.  I guess the good thing is that it's not bright pink, it's light.  Almost a light pinky/brown.

*********

In other news! 

My husband has taken over my weight loss Journey!  He has finally stepped up and started working out every day for 2hrs!  I laugh because here I'll be gaining weight, and he will be fit!  It's really neat to see the domino effect that weight loss has on those around us.  Even our daughter Jayleen...She's just petite naturally, but she works out 30mins - 1 hr Monday-Friday.  she does yoga, and the elliptical.  I am so glad that she practised what I preached, and not what she saw =)
(I guess I should mention that Jayleens fitness is part of her home school curriculm for physical Ed hehehe)

Last weekend my mother came to town.  I've mentioned how she brings gifts, which range from odd, to expensive...and usually for no reason.  Last month when she came, she brought us a 42" LCD TV for our living room...  Last weekend we had a day planned for shopping.  She's from Canada, so she was looking forward to checking out some stores that they don't have, so we hit the mall.

My husband picked out a new blue ray/home theatre for the new TV, and my mother handed him $150 cash towards it.  I picked up a new outfit that I ADORE! and plan on wearing on Monday to my ultrasound!  and I found the OPI nail polish line Shrek...which I  am in LOVE with.  Then when we were in Khols, my mother comes over to me and hands me $40 to buy something nice.  I had to stop for a moment and wonder if her breast cancer was back...because this is too generous, even for her.

Turns out she's really excited about the possibility of another grand baby.  My brother and his wife have 3 daughters and then they chose to get "fixed" after Sydneys birth.  So I am the only one left to produce anymore babies, and the only one to be able to give her a grandson.  AS if getting through the 1st 3 months isn't enough pressure, but the sex of the baby too? haha

She also ALWAYS comes with gifts for Jayleen.  Sometimes it's clothing, sometimes it's her favorite chocolate bars that they don't have in the states, to her favorite chips they don't have here either (Ketchup chips)  this time it was $50 cash, and BAMBOO drawing tablet for her computer, since Jayleen loves drawing!

This weekend I am just going to hang around the house and do nothing!  I have had such a crazy week, that doing nothing seems like a holiday from real life!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

What a day! (everything seems to be okay)

I woke up this morning with some side cramps.  It was noticeable, but nothing too terrible.  but as the morning progressed they got worse.  I was already having a weird morning with food aversions...Yogurt tasting like sushi, and the pot I was going to make my oatmeal in, all of a sudden smelled like hot dogs.

So by time I figured something out to eat, I felt -wet- down there.  I went to the bathroom and saw red.  It was like an alarm went off and I panicked.  I started freaking out because I noticed I had cramps with the sharp pains.  I wiped and wiped and it stopped.

By time my OB's office was able to call back, my husband was already on his way home.  The OB couldn't make any time to see me, and said to go to the ER.  I ended up going to my family doctor across from the ER and figured that if she thought I should go in, I'd go.

The family Doctor checked me over, and did an internal.  She noted there was no blood, and that my cervix was closed tight.  She figures the bleeding was just something that happened,. and the side pains/cramps I had was from something unrelated to the pregnancy.  She didn't want to send me for another Ultrasound because I had one on Wednesday, Thursday, and then just had a pelvic exam, and that she didn't want to disturb the cervix anymore.

SO I went for more blood work.  Course the cramping went away, and I am barely spotting now.  Last Thursday night my beta was 1964, and today its at 10681, which seems to be okay.

I am pooped out.  With the scare today, and the food aversions, I am just wondering what next week will bring

cramping and bleeding

no idea what's going on...

calling the doctor now


Edit:  Still waiting for a nurse to call me back, it's been over an hour now.  The cramps have gone away and the bleeding is now just spotting, but I have terrible sharp pain in my side..not even around uterus or ovary...over to the side more. 

Monday, June 21, 2010

Welcome June ICLW!

Welcome to my little space on the Internet =)  I started this blog not too long ago to document my journey from weight loss, to finding me again, and finding how I was going to get pregnant.  My husband and I have fertility issues, Pcos, and moderate male factor.  We did numerous of clomid cycles, in which I did not ovulate.  Then we were told in 2008 that our only real hope was going to be super ovulation with IUI's.

We tried 2 super ovulation cycles with iui where I ovulated 4 and then 5 eggs...Then we were told that it just wasn't worth it anymore, that we should really think about IVF.  So after doing the 2 super ovulation cycles last spring, we decided for IVF last summer.  Then came the Frozen Egg Transfer...and with that came the sadness that we just can't keep affording to do this.

So I started off 2010 with a big bang! I decided to use the year to focus on getting healthy, finding me again, and trying to find the feeling of hope that I had lost.  After losing 70lbs I woke up and decided that I wanted to start back at step 1.  Back at clomid.  I wanted to see what would happen now, now that I was so much more healthier.

I had an appt booked with a new OB/Gyn on June 9th.  I booked it a month in advance, I actually booked it for a breast health check, because I wanted to surprise her with me asking for clomid! lol.  I was nervous.  I also started to check for ovulation, I figured that since my period was coming some what monthly, that I may even start ovulating on my own.  ( I haven't ovulated on my own in years)

On May 26th my OPK was positive.  On June 7th my pregnancy test was positive!  My June 9th appt turned into a pregnancy confirmation appt =)

After 5 years of ttc with help, and spending well over 20k last year on ART...we were able to conceive on our own.  My next ultrasound appt in on the 28th for a viability check.  I think that may be the day that this finally seems real...That I may actually start picturing myself having a baby again.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Night in the ER

Yesterday I was in alot of pain. My LEFT side was aching with a few sharp stabbing pains. So we decided that it would be best to have that looked at, especially since we were told things were looking grim.

I've never been to a hospital in the States before...I was impressed.

The ER doc came in and explained that he went over all of my blood work and ultrasound from yesterday..that they have all that information on their computer that is shared through our provider? He even knew I went to the doctor last week and they said I wasn't pregnant and that I said I WAS and then I had blood work to throw it in their face! ha!

In 4 hours, I had blood test, urine culture, the OB surgeon come explain that if he doesn't see a sac in the uterus tonight, he wanted to do surgery because it was obvious the baby was thriving somewhere, just not sure where and it wasn't safe to wait it out...so I called my mom, told her the news, and got wheeled down to the Ultrasound

The tech did an abdominal one 1st. Uterus was empty, so she focused on the ovaries and located a cyst on each one. She also went over Wednesdays ultrasound where the Tech and Radiologist believes that the large cyst on my right ovary was indeed my gestational sac. Her plan was to do a video with the transvaginal ultrasound, and try and show that it wasn't moving separately, but together as a whole. which would rule out the very RARE 2% ectopic on the ovary.

she slid the transvaginal ultrasound in, and BOOOOOOM! BABY SAC IN UTERUS! beautiful sac measuring right on target with blood flow! She did the video thing, and went back to the sac...She even said she's not suppose to comment, but that it was perfect looking!

Based on my LMP, and the baby's Sac, I am Due Feb 17th, 2011!

The ER doc came back and was so happy for us. He was so worried he was going to be reporting the bad news, especially after he went through yesterdays (Wednesdays) ultrasound...He did say that he wasn't expecting to see a sac, and I was being booked for surgery! Then he joked around asking to see our baby photos. Turns out, all of my ultrasounds are kept on file, so I can go back at anytime and ask for printouts!