Saturday, May 1, 2010

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Sometimes it's hard to keep focus on other things other than TTC.  I spent the past 5 years researching, obsessing and counting cycle days, and now I am trying to forget it so I can just relax and focus on losing weight. 

Everyday I still check in on old cycle buddies on the boards, check out some blogs that I enjoy reading...I love it when I see a natural pregnancy happen when they are on  "a break".  But I can't help but feel jealous.

It's like when I did my 1st IVF and I was cycling with a bunch of bloggers at the same time, and one by one they were posting their BFP's and I panicked.  I was worried that there was too much of a lucky streak going on, and it ws going to end..I was afraid it was going to end with me!  It ended with me.

I guess I am afraid that too many people have gotten their "natural pregnancy" and that means it's way more unlikely now that I will get one.  Sounds crazy, right?  yepyep! I need to stop thinking about it!

So!  My husband took me shopping today to get my mind back on track.  A little Retail Therapy!  My dear husband bought me a beautiful Kitchen aid Professional 600!  I have wanted one for a while now, but with the amount we were spending each month on injections, we couldn't afford it.

I guess a little break from TTC isn't as bad as I thought.  Not only am I feeling awesome, I'm looking more healthy, and the little rewards make me warm and fuzzy!

I also went by Old Navy, this weekend only they have 30% off everything in the store, so I grabbed some new clothes to wear, since I don't fit into any of my clothes!  I went from size XXL last Christmas, to size M today!

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