Since I turned 30 on my last Birthday, I decided to try an be as healthy as I can be. The past 5 years I've pretty much did what I wanted, with no care as to how it would effect me long term.
ie. Eat shit, and sit in the sun.
Well, those days caught up to me.
There's a few things on my NEED list that I decided to order and try. Like new face creams, self tanners, and all that other stuff that I was just too lazy to care about.
Lately I've been seeing commercials for Aveeno's Ageless Vitality Elasticity Recharging System and I finally said "I NEED IT!" You can go to their website to get a coupon, or if you're like me, and you live out of Walmart and Target, you can get it for $39.99 from walmart.com, and you get right away a $15 online walmart gift card. I just wasn't sure which one to get, there is 3 different kinds. I figure I'll get this one, then the night one...I am clueless!
Faux Tan! I am usually one of the ladies who hide in the shade in the summer, cause it feels like I am on fire! But there has been a few times that I have purposely sat in the sun to get a "healthy Glow" ugh, so much for healthy...
I've seen a few people talk about Sun Labratories Self tanner Foam, and they swear it's the best..so, I think I will be brave and give it a shot! If I some how fail at it, I'll let ya know ;)
In the past I have done the Self Tan lotion - MISTAKE. I had no idea what I was doing, or what I should have done before hand. I had orange palms, orange ankles, and it looked like I kneeled in dog crap. It was AWFUL!
I have also done Tanning Beds...Trust me, I only did it twice. The first time I was given a 1 month unlimited membership. I used it, once. It was my first time EVER. I got my protective eye wear, bought my lasting tan lotion, AKA: I let her talk me into $55 tan lotion. I gathered my bag and headphones, and went into my little room.
The Lady was really sweet, she showed me how to adjust the fan option (lay down bed) Showed me how to get my radio station, and also told me that tan lines WEREN'T in that year ;)
Y'all, I am SHORT! I had to CLIMB onto that bed, like a 5 year old climbing onto their parents bed.. Anyways, As soon as I got on it, and got my earphones on, the bed light turned one, and I laid down. It was maybe a minute TOPS that I was in there, when I heard it.... A FREAKING CAT CALL whistle!
It was instinctual to get up fast..As soon as I got up, you know, hitting my head on the top on the bed,..knocking my eye wear off, blinding myself...It was too late, I saw NO ONE...All I could really see was bright spots, the kind if bright spots you see after you stare straight into a light bulb for a second..
That's all it took for me to want to get the heck outa there...and fast. I sat on the side of the bed, with my feet dangling, now not even sure how far down it was from the bed, since the bright spots were impairing my vision, that I did what most girls of small stature would do...I flipped onto my belly, and tried to feel for the ground with my tiptoes..
The tanning beds lid (or whatever its called) slowly started to close...So when it touched my back, I thought it was someones HAND!
**bang**
I had actually fell...and before I could get up, the door opened. It was the lovely lady from the front desk checking to see what that thump was! There I was, in the "doggy style" position on the floor, saying everything was good...
I just got dressed as fast as I could, and LEFT! Of course noting on my way out that in fact my door handle did have a lock on it. FML
On my drive home, I had the radio on. It was in between songs, and the commercial that came on was new. It started with A CAT CALL WHISTLE! WTF! There WAS NO ONE in my room with me! It was the radio commercial! omg..
It was a few years later before I went to another tanning salon. This time I was prepared! I picked a little salon that wasn't terribly busy and that had stand up beds.
The lady who ran the salon was a cute petite Chinese lady, who I could barely understand. perfect =) no small chat. I think I did hear her say that for my 1st time we would have to start with only a few minutes since it was a new bed, so the bulbs were more powerful.
Got it. Go in, get naked, hold onto the straps, light/fan will turn on, and when it turns off, game over.
Well, I get in there, and the show gets started...It was only a few seconds into my bathing glory that I looked down. I got a flipping BIRD feather in my mouth...wtf. I looked down again, and I could see a few more fluffy bird feathers blowing around....you know, the fluffy ones that are on the ass end of a bird? UGH!
Then I closed my legs.
WHY OH WHY is there a mini tornado of bird feathers blowing in god knows where? THE LONGEST 2 minutes of my life.
Turns out, she was on the phone, and had forgot about me. Course she said she gave me extra minutes cause I was so darn cute...LIAR. When I was paying, that's when I noticed the freaking bird cage full of blue and yellow birds. I didn't even say anything, I was already pissed.
That night I was SICK. Like throwing up, y'all. the next day, I had blisters all over me! I ended up in the hospital with dehydration, and burns that needed attention!
So, wish me luck with the tan foam! It's that, or looking like a cast reject from TWILIGHT all summer!
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