Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Bringing Sexy Back [attempt #1];FAILURE

Especially last year, our sex life has been pretty much, pre planned.  Sometimes, we would have someone else telling us when and when not to have sex.  AND maybe, just maybe, some intimate encounters would be my husband in a closet size room, full of magazines and a cup, and my -good time- would be me in stir-ups, hoping that my -landscaping- job was good enough.

There were also times when we had no choice but to have a long dry spell.  Like when we did IVF.  My ovaries were so swollen full of eggs, that just peeing, or walking was uncomfortable, that I couldn't imagine him being on me, or vice versa!  Then of course, when those eggs were retrieved, there was the "nothing in the vagina" till transfer day, and then of course followed by, no sex till the pregnancy test, AND then, no sex for the 1st 12 weeks.

I guess the bitter sweet part was that we never had to wait that long, usually just 3 weeks.  You know, till my period came, and then I was out of order for a week. fun stuff!

This year, with everything else on my plate (weighloss, OPK's, finding me...) I am trying to bring sexy back.   I want to start having regular sex, even just randomtimeoftheday sex!

Thing is, I am thinking way too much about how to accomplish this, that I am making it more complicated.

For the sake of my husband, I have to add: We have amazing sex!  you're welcome for the too much info.

The past week, my husband and I have been browsing some websites that sell sexy night time wear.  I felt like a teenager, I was full of giggles, and at times, I was scared of what I saw!  It was a learning experience.  I learned that we have different tastes, way different tastes.  I also learned that I am still shopping for the plus size me.  I was looking at stuff that I could hide in.

I have decided to step out of my comfort zone, and jump in!  I am going to order something barely there!  and if it doesn't exactly fit me, I will know that it will soon fit me!

Okay, now on to my failure....
2 years ago when I was shopping at The Bay, I saw they were having some sort of sale.  I love looking at stuff on sale...heck, I'll even buy something that doesn't fit me, just cause it's on sale.  and that's how I ended up with a few one piece JLO pajamas.

Description of Jlo on the tag:  Super cute/sexy.  She must have been greased up with baby oil, wearing this one piece. It sort of reminds me of a bodysuit with long sleeves, with high cut sides so you can see her booty.  there is about 7 buttons in the front, but still low cut so you could see the top of her chest.  (sorta weird material, like a light thermal  texture) - I'll get a picture of it

Well, I decided it was time I put this bad boy on!  It pulled up abit in the front, to give the illusion of a camel toe...and when i adjusted that area, I realized that it made my boobs look like they were not as perky as jlo's size b's!  meh, I still looked good. BUT when in doubt, turn off the lights!

I made sure to brush my teeth, and heck, I even shaved (it was freeing not to have to shave every few days for my date with a dildo cam!)  I laid there waiting for him to take his time to make it to the bedroom.  Keep in mind, he's probably gotten use to being told when we would be having sex days in advance.

He climbs into bed and I make my move!  Boy, was he surprised =)

Then he asks me..."Why are you wearing a onesie?"


I told him it was something SEXY! he was excited, and wanted to see what it looked like! He flips the light on fast, blinds me...and he says, "THAT'S A ONESIE!"

~~EPIC Failure~~

Dear Husband,

That sexy attempt was trial and error.  Even though I seduced you in a onesie, you can't deny that I Rocked that onesie !!  That is all.

your wife

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