We finally got a doppler! Well, my mom bought it for us, and we had it overnighted. In our little town you don't get mail to your house, you have to rent a post office box. So I was checking the tracking every 3 minutes all morning and the moment it arrived, I went for a walk.
I wasn't even home 30 seconds before I tore open the box and started frantically searching for baby. I was so happy when I thought I found him/her. But then I noticed that it was my heart beat -76-! lol I think I found the baby 10 minutes later, but by that time I had to get up and walk away. I was scaring myself.
Well, I didn't get to finish writing this post before I went to look for it again! This time I found a heartbeat of 143. I called my mom and went to let her listen...and the baby moved. blah. Maybe next time mom!
Tomorrow morning I have an OB appt, and then a dentist appt in the afternoon. Last weekend I ended up in the ER with such a bad tooth ache, that it was determined that since I am pregnant and my gums are more sensitive I got a bacteria infection. fun stuff. T3's, penicillin and a needle in the cheek later, and I am sorta looking forward to getting rid of this pain once and for all.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Letter in the mail...
We got a letter in the mail addressed to both myself and my husband. We couldn't open it. We knew where it came from, we knew what it needed, we knew what needed to be done. We knew it would not be easy.
It was a letter asking us what we would like to do with our 4 frozen embryos. It was a letter wanting us to pay $1500 to freeze them another year. It was a letter wanting to know if we were going to give them a chance. We decided to let them go.
It was not an easy choice.
In December we thawed 4 embryos and had 3 survive, but were only allowed to transfer the best 2. I know that just because that cycle didn't work doesn't mean that these last embryos wouldn't work. We just can't financially right now do it =(
It sucks when infertiles can't have treatments because of financial reasons, and it hurts to know we can't give these embryos a chance. We would have to pay $1500 this week, and then again next summer. I would not be able to do a transfer while breastfeeding...Not to mention we have no idea if we will be relocating again soon...Jayleen has college in 2 years, and I have baby gear I need to purchase within the next 5 months.
It's just sad no matter how many reasons I come up with.
I'm sorry little embryos.
It was a letter asking us what we would like to do with our 4 frozen embryos. It was a letter wanting us to pay $1500 to freeze them another year. It was a letter wanting to know if we were going to give them a chance. We decided to let them go.
It was not an easy choice.
In December we thawed 4 embryos and had 3 survive, but were only allowed to transfer the best 2. I know that just because that cycle didn't work doesn't mean that these last embryos wouldn't work. We just can't financially right now do it =(
It sucks when infertiles can't have treatments because of financial reasons, and it hurts to know we can't give these embryos a chance. We would have to pay $1500 this week, and then again next summer. I would not be able to do a transfer while breastfeeding...Not to mention we have no idea if we will be relocating again soon...Jayleen has college in 2 years, and I have baby gear I need to purchase within the next 5 months.
It's just sad no matter how many reasons I come up with.
I'm sorry little embryos.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Thankful Thursday
I have alot to be thankful about. But the main ones on my mind is that I am thankful to be in my 12th week, and that my 2nd trimester is just a few days away!
and thankful that I am having fastfood for dinner!
and thankful that I am having fastfood for dinner!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wiggle Worm
Wiggly
Today's Ultrasound was good. I had to pee so badly, that I couldn't stand it anymore. So they let me pee just a little. And because with my 16oz of water, I mixed in some orange juice, we got ourselves a VERY wiggly baby!
The 1st tech couldn't get a profile view of baby because it was squirmy and facing the wand. She was pressing so hard on my belly to try and -capture- it so it wouldn't move. Well, the baby HATED it, the moment she would stop pressing, it would start doing flips and using the side of the sack to push itself fast to the other side.
She then brought in the other tech. She was able to angle the wand on my belly to get some side shots, and then was able to measure behind the baby's neck for the NT. She said anything less than 3 is normal. anything between 4 and 7 is a concern. Ours wasn't even 1. She said baby looked great, and she could clearly see the nasal bone, too.
They sent us on our way with 6 more printed pictures, and a disc of pictures and short video clips! In one of the video clips that you can see on our youtube, she told me to cough twice, and as soon as I did the baby started waving it's arms, then kicked! It seriously did the worm!
oh yes! Baby measured great 11 weeks, 2 days
Today's Ultrasound was good. I had to pee so badly, that I couldn't stand it anymore. So they let me pee just a little. And because with my 16oz of water, I mixed in some orange juice, we got ourselves a VERY wiggly baby!
The 1st tech couldn't get a profile view of baby because it was squirmy and facing the wand. She was pressing so hard on my belly to try and -capture- it so it wouldn't move. Well, the baby HATED it, the moment she would stop pressing, it would start doing flips and using the side of the sack to push itself fast to the other side.
She then brought in the other tech. She was able to angle the wand on my belly to get some side shots, and then was able to measure behind the baby's neck for the NT. She said anything less than 3 is normal. anything between 4 and 7 is a concern. Ours wasn't even 1. She said baby looked great, and she could clearly see the nasal bone, too.
They sent us on our way with 6 more printed pictures, and a disc of pictures and short video clips! In one of the video clips that you can see on our youtube, she told me to cough twice, and as soon as I did the baby started waving it's arms, then kicked! It seriously did the worm!
oh yes! Baby measured great 11 weeks, 2 days
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Cheater
That Diet went out the window. I stopped pricking myself, too. My sugar levels have been great, and I don't over eat, so I figure I'll just watch what I eat and check my sugars randomly instead of every 4 hours. Also because I was alot smaller in the waist, I am starting to notice even my underwear digging in just above my pubic bone! I bought all new clothes at the beginning of summer, and now they are starting to get tight, like across my chest!
Want to hear something crazy and strange? I am still getting jealous over other ladies BFP's. Seriously. I think it's because I am still worried, and I still feel like I some how cheated the -Infertility Club- After a few days, I get excited for them, and I count how far along behind me they are, and try to remember how scared I was at their stage, and how I am just now starting to think that this MAY happen for me.
And the awesome news...Tomorrow I get to drink LOADS of water, and not pee for an hour! Wow. I am not sure how I am going to do this. I drank a green tea, went into Costco 30 minutes later, and almost peed myself. Tomorrow I get to over drink, and get my tummy pushed on! It's my 1st abdominal Ultrasound. I am getting the NT scan done to check for abnormality markers. I'm just doing it so I can have another ultrasound to see the baby :D
Am I just the only crazy person who prepares herself for the worst before EVERY ultrasound?
Want to hear something crazy and strange? I am still getting jealous over other ladies BFP's. Seriously. I think it's because I am still worried, and I still feel like I some how cheated the -Infertility Club- After a few days, I get excited for them, and I count how far along behind me they are, and try to remember how scared I was at their stage, and how I am just now starting to think that this MAY happen for me.
And the awesome news...Tomorrow I get to drink LOADS of water, and not pee for an hour! Wow. I am not sure how I am going to do this. I drank a green tea, went into Costco 30 minutes later, and almost peed myself. Tomorrow I get to over drink, and get my tummy pushed on! It's my 1st abdominal Ultrasound. I am getting the NT scan done to check for abnormality markers. I'm just doing it so I can have another ultrasound to see the baby :D
Am I just the only crazy person who prepares herself for the worst before EVERY ultrasound?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Date at the Diabete Center
It wasn't that bad. I was worried I would be living off of green leaves or some crap like that lol. I was taught how to check my blood levels, and holy cow was I a chicken. I held that little machine and seriously stomped my feet as I tried to psych myself up to push the button and prick my finger! and I couldn't do it. the lady had to do it for me. lol!
I don't get it! I did muscle injections in my ass at least 65 times last year, and at least 10 shots in my belly, yet I couldn't prick my finger. So it turns out my sugar levels spike high, and then drop,...alot. Which she didn't seem happy with. So alot of this will be trial and error to find which foods work for me.
I will admit that I left that appointment and went and grabbed a huge Costco Hot dog and a strawberry sundae! Then I came home and ate some more crap, and drank some apple juice (She said no more juices for me!) Tomorrow the torture will begin! aka, the diabetes diet.
Anyways, as I write this I am sitting here eating a nut bar and a bag of veggie chips, you know...to make sure it's not "poison" before I start to eat this stuff tomorrow! I'm so full I could either pass out, or throw up. Right now either one sounds like sex.
Disclaimer: YES, I know I shouldn't have hogged out, but I couldn't help myself. I'm sure once I restart my metformin tomorrow all of this food will be flushed out =]
I don't get it! I did muscle injections in my ass at least 65 times last year, and at least 10 shots in my belly, yet I couldn't prick my finger. So it turns out my sugar levels spike high, and then drop,...alot. Which she didn't seem happy with. So alot of this will be trial and error to find which foods work for me.
I will admit that I left that appointment and went and grabbed a huge Costco Hot dog and a strawberry sundae! Then I came home and ate some more crap, and drank some apple juice (She said no more juices for me!) Tomorrow the torture will begin! aka, the diabetes diet.
Anyways, as I write this I am sitting here eating a nut bar and a bag of veggie chips, you know...to make sure it's not "poison" before I start to eat this stuff tomorrow! I'm so full I could either pass out, or throw up. Right now either one sounds like sex.
Disclaimer: YES, I know I shouldn't have hogged out, but I couldn't help myself. I'm sure once I restart my metformin tomorrow all of this food will be flushed out =]
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
1st Pre Natal Visit
This morning was my first prenatal visit. There was alot of information, lots of questions, and an ultrasound. Oh, and more appointments. Appointments for another prenatal, nutritionist, Nuchal Translucency Ultrasound, blood work, and urine testing.
The news: I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes already! I've been given metformin for many years, and it was only more recently that I became faithful in taking it, and when I found out I was pregnant, the old OB office told me to stop it right away, cold turkey.
I am insulin resistant...my weight has been sky rocketing since getting pregnant. I am now on the diabetes diet, taking metformin, and have to check my blood sugars 4 times a day. If the Metformin and diet can't control it, I will start insulin.
And the other news: I will be having another C-section. We will plan for the date for 39weeks, but depending on baby, it may be earlier. When I went into labor with my daughter I didn't know I was in labor. I was in the very SMALL percentage of women who don't feel their labor. I actually went to my doctor to get a sleeping pill because I could not sleep for almost 2 nights, and she checked my cervix and I was 7.5cm dilated.
I went to the hospital and they broke my bag of water, and she had pooped. They decided because she was distressed that I would need to be induced to speed things along, and once they started that process, it all went VERY fast, the contractions were one on top of another and the pain all of a sudden became too much.
Her heartbeat was dropping, and it at times would stay really low, so I went for an emergency c-section. The mentioned the cord was wrapped once around her neck, but the kicker?...Her head was such a cone shape! It was literally wedged in my pelvis that they had to really tug her out. There was no way she would have survived a vaginal birth.
The doctor talked to us a bit about it, based on scar, and a small pelvis, he advised us that he would suggest a repeat c-section. We didn't talk about a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) Which made the decision easier. Anything to cut any risks down.
My next prenatal is in 4weeks, and on the 30th is the scan to check for down syndrome.
The news: I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes already! I've been given metformin for many years, and it was only more recently that I became faithful in taking it, and when I found out I was pregnant, the old OB office told me to stop it right away, cold turkey.
I am insulin resistant...my weight has been sky rocketing since getting pregnant. I am now on the diabetes diet, taking metformin, and have to check my blood sugars 4 times a day. If the Metformin and diet can't control it, I will start insulin.
And the other news: I will be having another C-section. We will plan for the date for 39weeks, but depending on baby, it may be earlier. When I went into labor with my daughter I didn't know I was in labor. I was in the very SMALL percentage of women who don't feel their labor. I actually went to my doctor to get a sleeping pill because I could not sleep for almost 2 nights, and she checked my cervix and I was 7.5cm dilated.
I went to the hospital and they broke my bag of water, and she had pooped. They decided because she was distressed that I would need to be induced to speed things along, and once they started that process, it all went VERY fast, the contractions were one on top of another and the pain all of a sudden became too much.
Her heartbeat was dropping, and it at times would stay really low, so I went for an emergency c-section. The mentioned the cord was wrapped once around her neck, but the kicker?...Her head was such a cone shape! It was literally wedged in my pelvis that they had to really tug her out. There was no way she would have survived a vaginal birth.
The doctor talked to us a bit about it, based on scar, and a small pelvis, he advised us that he would suggest a repeat c-section. We didn't talk about a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) Which made the decision easier. Anything to cut any risks down.
My next prenatal is in 4weeks, and on the 30th is the scan to check for down syndrome.
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