The Bean

Here is the little bean!

I had my ultrasound today, and it was AWESOME!  The little bean is measuring behind by a few days, but I was told that that was normal, and it will fluctuate from being behind to ahead at times.  The baby's heart rate was on the slower side, at 114 bmp, but was also reassured that it will go up everyday. (If it isn't 1 thing, it's another!)  We aslo figured out the bleeding/spotting!  When I had the other 2 ultrasounds they noted there was free fluid in my uterus, well it's gone.  The tech seems to think that may be the spotting. /shrug

*Based on my last period, my due date would be Feb 16th, but based on measurements today, they say it would be Feb 20th.

***By the way, the top is not the baby's head!  It's the yolk sac! But it sure looks like a perfectly formed baby head hahaha - The baby is the blob under it =)***

Been Quiet

I've been quiet for a few days because I don't want every post of mine to be negative, or a roller coaster ride.  I've been trying to hold on till Monday when I get another ultrasound, and hopefully some good news.  I have promised myself that once I see everything is okay, then I will stop worrying and enjoy it as much as possible.

It's really hard to explain the way I am feeling..I think I am having a hard time believing this is real, or even believing that this will work out because it almost feels like I cheated.  That I was only suppose to get pregnant via ART.  Sounds crazy, right?  Well, I feel crazy right now.

Yesterday morning around 5am I went to pee and saw the dreaded pink.  I called my OB again, and reported it like I was told to.  I got a call back saying they wanted 1 last beta test to make sure it hasn't dropped.  But I was warned not to expect it to double, that between 4-6 weeks it doubles every 48hrs, but between 6-8 weeks it slows down.  Glad she warned me, because when I found out it didn't double I still couldn't help but google it.

Tuesday 10681, Thursday 17393

I woke up this morning and there was the pink to greet me again...This time (TMI) it was pink and egg white mucus.  Like the same stretchy/snotty kind of mucus you get when you're ovulating.  I guess the good thing is that it's not bright pink, it's light.  Almost a light pinky/brown.

*********

In other news! 

My husband has taken over my weight loss Journey!  He has finally stepped up and started working out every day for 2hrs!  I laugh because here I'll be gaining weight, and he will be fit!  It's really neat to see the domino effect that weight loss has on those around us.  Even our daughter Jayleen...She's just petite naturally, but she works out 30mins - 1 hr Monday-Friday.  she does yoga, and the elliptical.  I am so glad that she practised what I preached, and not what she saw =)
(I guess I should mention that Jayleens fitness is part of her home school curriculm for physical Ed hehehe)

Last weekend my mother came to town.  I've mentioned how she brings gifts, which range from odd, to expensive...and usually for no reason.  Last month when she came, she brought us a 42" LCD TV for our living room...  Last weekend we had a day planned for shopping.  She's from Canada, so she was looking forward to checking out some stores that they don't have, so we hit the mall.

My husband picked out a new blue ray/home theatre for the new TV, and my mother handed him $150 cash towards it.  I picked up a new outfit that I ADORE! and plan on wearing on Monday to my ultrasound!  and I found the OPI nail polish line Shrek...which I  am in LOVE with.  Then when we were in Khols, my mother comes over to me and hands me $40 to buy something nice.  I had to stop for a moment and wonder if her breast cancer was back...because this is too generous, even for her.

Turns out she's really excited about the possibility of another grand baby.  My brother and his wife have 3 daughters and then they chose to get "fixed" after Sydneys birth.  So I am the only one left to produce anymore babies, and the only one to be able to give her a grandson.  AS if getting through the 1st 3 months isn't enough pressure, but the sex of the baby too? haha

She also ALWAYS comes with gifts for Jayleen.  Sometimes it's clothing, sometimes it's her favorite chocolate bars that they don't have in the states, to her favorite chips they don't have here either (Ketchup chips)  this time it was $50 cash, and BAMBOO drawing tablet for her computer, since Jayleen loves drawing!

This weekend I am just going to hang around the house and do nothing!  I have had such a crazy week, that doing nothing seems like a holiday from real life!

What a day! (everything seems to be okay)

I woke up this morning with some side cramps.  It was noticeable, but nothing too terrible.  but as the morning progressed they got worse.  I was already having a weird morning with food aversions...Yogurt tasting like sushi, and the pot I was going to make my oatmeal in, all of a sudden smelled like hot dogs.

So by time I figured something out to eat, I felt -wet- down there.  I went to the bathroom and saw red.  It was like an alarm went off and I panicked.  I started freaking out because I noticed I had cramps with the sharp pains.  I wiped and wiped and it stopped.

By time my OB's office was able to call back, my husband was already on his way home.  The OB couldn't make any time to see me, and said to go to the ER.  I ended up going to my family doctor across from the ER and figured that if she thought I should go in, I'd go.

The family Doctor checked me over, and did an internal.  She noted there was no blood, and that my cervix was closed tight.  She figures the bleeding was just something that happened,. and the side pains/cramps I had was from something unrelated to the pregnancy.  She didn't want to send me for another Ultrasound because I had one on Wednesday, Thursday, and then just had a pelvic exam, and that she didn't want to disturb the cervix anymore.

SO I went for more blood work.  Course the cramping went away, and I am barely spotting now.  Last Thursday night my beta was 1964, and today its at 10681, which seems to be okay.

I am pooped out.  With the scare today, and the food aversions, I am just wondering what next week will bring

cramping and bleeding

no idea what's going on...

calling the doctor now


Edit:  Still waiting for a nurse to call me back, it's been over an hour now.  The cramps have gone away and the bleeding is now just spotting, but I have terrible sharp pain in my side..not even around uterus or ovary...over to the side more. 

Welcome June ICLW!

Welcome to my little space on the Internet =)  I started this blog not too long ago to document my journey from weight loss, to finding me again, and finding how I was going to get pregnant.  My husband and I have fertility issues, Pcos, and moderate male factor.  We did numerous of clomid cycles, in which I did not ovulate.  Then we were told in 2008 that our only real hope was going to be super ovulation with IUI's.

We tried 2 super ovulation cycles with iui where I ovulated 4 and then 5 eggs...Then we were told that it just wasn't worth it anymore, that we should really think about IVF.  So after doing the 2 super ovulation cycles last spring, we decided for IVF last summer.  Then came the Frozen Egg Transfer...and with that came the sadness that we just can't keep affording to do this.

So I started off 2010 with a big bang! I decided to use the year to focus on getting healthy, finding me again, and trying to find the feeling of hope that I had lost.  After losing 70lbs I woke up and decided that I wanted to start back at step 1.  Back at clomid.  I wanted to see what would happen now, now that I was so much more healthier.

I had an appt booked with a new OB/Gyn on June 9th.  I booked it a month in advance, I actually booked it for a breast health check, because I wanted to surprise her with me asking for clomid! lol.  I was nervous.  I also started to check for ovulation, I figured that since my period was coming some what monthly, that I may even start ovulating on my own.  ( I haven't ovulated on my own in years)

On May 26th my OPK was positive.  On June 7th my pregnancy test was positive!  My June 9th appt turned into a pregnancy confirmation appt =)

After 5 years of ttc with help, and spending well over 20k last year on ART...we were able to conceive on our own.  My next ultrasound appt in on the 28th for a viability check.  I think that may be the day that this finally seems real...That I may actually start picturing myself having a baby again.

Night in the ER

Yesterday I was in alot of pain. My LEFT side was aching with a few sharp stabbing pains. So we decided that it would be best to have that looked at, especially since we were told things were looking grim.

I've never been to a hospital in the States before...I was impressed.

The ER doc came in and explained that he went over all of my blood work and ultrasound from yesterday..that they have all that information on their computer that is shared through our provider? He even knew I went to the doctor last week and they said I wasn't pregnant and that I said I WAS and then I had blood work to throw it in their face! ha!

In 4 hours, I had blood test, urine culture, the OB surgeon come explain that if he doesn't see a sac in the uterus tonight, he wanted to do surgery because it was obvious the baby was thriving somewhere, just not sure where and it wasn't safe to wait it out...so I called my mom, told her the news, and got wheeled down to the Ultrasound

The tech did an abdominal one 1st. Uterus was empty, so she focused on the ovaries and located a cyst on each one. She also went over Wednesdays ultrasound where the Tech and Radiologist believes that the large cyst on my right ovary was indeed my gestational sac. Her plan was to do a video with the transvaginal ultrasound, and try and show that it wasn't moving separately, but together as a whole. which would rule out the very RARE 2% ectopic on the ovary.

she slid the transvaginal ultrasound in, and BOOOOOOM! BABY SAC IN UTERUS! beautiful sac measuring right on target with blood flow! She did the video thing, and went back to the sac...She even said she's not suppose to comment, but that it was perfect looking!

Based on my LMP, and the baby's Sac, I am Due Feb 17th, 2011!

The ER doc came back and was so happy for us. He was so worried he was going to be reporting the bad news, especially after he went through yesterdays (Wednesdays) ultrasound...He did say that he wasn't expecting to see a sac, and I was being booked for surgery! Then he joked around asking to see our baby photos. Turns out, all of my ultrasounds are kept on file, so I can go back at anytime and ask for printouts!

Beta 1404

and there is no sac in the uterus. 

They did however see a mass on my right ovary that looks suspicious.  Normally it could be a corpus luteum but the characteristics of this one has them undecided.  They couldn't rule out "Ectopic"

Everything seems like a blur.  The ultrasound tech went and got her boss, who came back and basically talked in a circle and sent me right back to my OB to explain...Course the OB says I need to wait...But it could be early.  They also do my due date based on my last menstrual period, not ovulation, so in their book I am not even 5 weeks yet,,but based on ovulation I should be 5 weeks and a few days.