From Crazy - To Impossible

I am LUCKY if I get 2 hours straight of sleep at night.  LUCKY. and I mean just 1 two hour stretch!

This is week 3 of this, and I am afraid that I don't know how much longer my body can do it.  The other night at 4am, I had to get my husband to take him, because I was so exhausted, that I couldn't tell if I was holding him too tight, or not tight enough. 

I should mention that he's not screaming through the night.  He simply can't lay still.  He's moving and fighting so much that if I don't pick him up and rock him, or pat him right away, he wakes up with a sad pitiful cry.  I've tried propping him up and he most definitely hates it.  He only wants to held with his head on my shoulder.  It's the only way he won't fuss and the only way to ensure HE gets a solid sleep.

However, last Friday was different.  It was the 2nd day where he was inconsolable.  He was in so much pain that he had actual tears pouring down his cheeks.  The moment I saw that, I knew he needed to be seen. 

We headed to a pediatricians office we've never been to before because ours was on vacation.  I was not Happy when we arrived.  I was an old ugly house converted into an office with equipment that I think MY pediatrician used on me when I was 2.  The doctor was a story teller.  He couldn't say much without breaking into a song and dance.  annoying

I told him how he hadn't had a good sleep in 2 weeks, how he's up all night squirming, whining and grunting like he needs to toot...and he said it's the reflux.  He looked in Isaac's nose and really loud said "Yup! just as I figured, red and swollen.  It's the reflux!"  After hearing that and his breakdown as to why baby is fussing and grunting, it made sense at the time. "One time he had discomfort from his bowels and when he pushed, he felt relief, so that's what he remembers. Push and the pain goes away, so when he's in pain from the reflux, he pushes because of that one memory"  Awww Poor guy! so were on our way with another script for Zantac.

Prevacid 1x/day.  Zantac 3x/day. (pharmacist was a bit concerned since it was on the high end of dosage for his weight)

First thing Saturday morning he had his 1st ER visit. The screams were NOT normal.  The ER doctor said baby needs to see a specialist, and started him on ANOTHER med. Carafate.  He looked in his nose and said it was normal.  He wasn't sure what the pediatrician thought he saw......

We finally got him booked for Tuesday morning at 9am with the specialist.  Is it Tuesday yet?

This was last nights schedule

8:45 - Fell asleep
9:15 - Started to stir /pat
9:30 - Moving and kicking, smacking self in the face /pat
10:00 - whining /pat /nurse
I fell asleep!
11 - repeat but every 10 mins
By time 2 hits, I pick him up, bounce him, and then tried to lay him down again.  didn't work! light sleep. repeat
3:10 - Got him down!
3:15 - squirm and smacking AND whining /pat
That didn't work.
Bounce, pat lay him propped up.  Nope
4:20 - Finally got him down!
5:50 - Back up

F-it! I got up, turned on the lights.  Talked to my smiley boy.  Had a warm bath together.  Sang some songs,. and he was out at 6:30 till 8.  squirming the entire time, waking himself up. As I laid there and cat napped every 4 mins between the next set of pattings on his side.

He sleeps all day upright in my arms cause he's exhausted too!  Praying for solutions on Tuesday!

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Breast update

Ultrasound and mammogram came back inconclusive.  My Gyno's office has been calling twice a week since then (2 weeks) to schedule another appt (followup), but right now I just can't.  I'm exhausted, Isaac is pooped out, and the lady the Breast place told me it looked great to her, probably fatty breast tissue =)

Outtakes

Reflux Update

It has been a crazy few days here.  Isaac has been on his Prevacid for 4 days, and things have only gotten worse.  I am not 100% convinced it's reflux, even though he has alot of the symptoms, I just can't help but think it's bad gas?  If I swing him in the air during one of his screaming spells, he stops crying.  Which leads me to think he has a tummy ache cause that's what the swing helps with...

But, now his pediatrician thinks it's either one of a few things, pyloric stenosis, or bowel obstruction, or his bowel is twisted. I'm praying for gas, just bad gas.  And if it is one of these things, it would explain why the swinging motion helps. 

Isaac gets admitted tomorrow morning for testing.  They will be doing an abdominal ultrasound and an upper GI series.  I am praying we get some answers and baby gets some relief.

Today was a testing day for Momma.  I felt terrible that I couldn't do much to help Isaac.  He wants to nurse cause it's comforting, and he's so hungry, but at the same time he pulls away cause it causes him so much grief.  When I do get him to nurse, he lasts about 5 minutes before the screaming starts.  I try to burp him, hoping that's the problem, and then we're both covered in mucusy breast milk.  He hasn't been able to keep anything down today.

Or get anything out. 

He has had troubles pooping for a while.  It seems like such a chore for him.  But now were lucky if we see a streak (TMI  I know!) It's not normal breastfed baby stool either.  Ugh.  And he screams so loud when he even tries.

Right now he's asleep with Daddy.  I was able to feed him before he fell asleep outa exhaustion, so I am hoping he gets some nutrients from the milk he had right before.  Cause I know as soon as he's up, it's coming out!   (this time we didn't burp him, or move him much, to not jiggle the milk)

I lied

I didn't blog that weekend...or the next!

I just am running out of time.  Heck, I'm typing this with one hand!  We've been busy dealing with reflux.  Such an awful thing to deal with.  At 1st it wasn't that terrible cept' for a few bad moments here and there, but now it's becoming the new norm and gradually getting worse.

Baby starts his meds tonight, and if it has not improved in 2 weeks, we go to a pediatric surgeon.  His doctor mentioned something about the spinchter at the base of his esophagus being weak and may require surgery? I forgot the actual name though.

Here's the list of his symptoms

random ear piercing screams that the dogs have now started to howl to
spitting up 20 times a day, sometimes so much it will go 2 ft away!
drooling
can't lie down without fussing and waking himself up, needs to sleep upright
hiccups 5 times a day!  each hiccup brings spit up
sleep at night is rarely in a pattern
and the new one, screaming and nursing at the same time, while kicking his legs, red faced and arching his back - I thought it meant he really needed to be burped, NOPE it means I need to puke on you.

In not puke related news.  He has started to smile! He weighs well into 11lbs at his 1 month check up, almost 23" long and is doing great =)  He LOVES to babble, especially to my breast. He wears size 6mos clothes!  and I think his hair is falling out!

Oh and I have to say we got a coffee machine!  I'm not a coffee drinker really, and I avoid caffeine whenever possible, but I love this machine!  It makes tea, and hot chocolate =) Keurig = yum!

We got some wheels!

I finally ordered our stroller on Wednesday and it arrived today! 

Verdict? LOVE IT!

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4400823&prodFindSrc=prodCrossSell

I was able to bundle baby up and take the dogs for a walk. yay!  I've been starting to feel cooped up and now I am able to get out =)

We're also changing over to the cloth diapers this weekend.  Eeek!  I'm sorta scared, but excited to see that cute little bum! 

AND we're getting ready for Granny's visit this Tuesday, the 1st time the little one and her meet!

This weekend I'll do a big catch up post that's not a bunch of random crap crammed together =]

Oh and baby is getting huge! He's now gaining more than a pound/week!  For 3 weeks old, he's 10lbs

here are a few shots from this week

Running out of time...

There are not enough hours in the day, and definitely NOT enough hours in the night for more hours in the day...

I am hoping to start blogging more often again, and not just about baby, but my journey back to my weight loss.  I need to really start eating healthy again, to make sure baby is getting enough nutrients from me.  I am hoping for some warmer weather so I can get baby in the Chicco carrier we just purchased and get out of the house for some fresh air =)

My weight loss goal was 135lbs.  My new weight loss goal is my last low weight, 160lbs.  I gained a shit load of weight with my pregnancy!  and I'm okay with that =)  Now it's time to start getting back on track.  So I figure I'll use this time to get my eating habits healthy, and once cleared at my OB postpartum check up in 4 weeks, I'll start working out again.  Oh and having sex!  What's sex?

I'll probably start doing McFatty Mondays again...Not sure if I'll start before or after my postpartum checkup.  Do I get to claim 10lbs per breast for breast feeding?  If not, than I'm totally scared!

Here is me and munchkin yesterday before his doctors appt.!\

Wordless Wednesday