Monday, January 31, 2011

Up and Down

all night with contractions!  Nothing dramatic, nothing impressive, but something!  There is no real pattern to them, but at one point they were every 12 minutes.  Now they are back to being every 20-30 minutes.  UGH!

I've been having some anxiety lately that the baby is the size of a lipstick...yeah, really.  It's like I know he's bigger than that, because of the ultrasounds, BUT I just can't picture a baby that is almost ready to come out! 

8 days people!  8 days till we meet baby Isaac! 

Tomorrow is my surgery consult at 11am.  and my last weigh in, belly measurement, and heartbeat check!  So excited, and soooo scared =) 

We cancelled my parents flight here because my mom had to have surgery, so we're expecting them to come in March, when Isaac is a month old, and hopefully I'm alot more mobile!  We do however have one of Nathaniel's brothers coming in on the 12th for a few days with his fiancee!  I haven't been all that close to anyone in his family because I'm afraid they passed judgement on me because of my past (teen pregnancy)  So this will be my 2nd time ever meeting him in 6 years =)

Please pray that it goes smoothly!  I'll be a few days out of surgery, with a nursing newborn, and 2 dogs who dislike anyone who can walk/talk! Oh and counting on Nathaniel to help clean/tidy up...That itself is a scary thought!

About my blog.  I will keep blogging my random craziness, but like I said, on a privacy setting for  a while.  I got alot of your emails, and I jotted down the emails from comments too.  If for any reason you can't view it after the privacy is set on, email me, and I can figure something out =) Or who knows! lol.  I'll probably set it after tomorrows appt.

Thanks guys =)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Going Private

Hey guys!

I'll be going private in a few days and need your email addresses associated with your blogs to invite you =)  Last summer I took a break due to someone saying stuff, and watching my posts to be mean, and I see that person is back at it again.  I would rather avoid this hassle right now, especially since soon I'll be posting my birth story and baby pictures. 

Shoot me an email at

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Full Term!

37 weeks!  I was officially full term as of yesterday.  BUT ask my unborn child, and he will tell you he needs another few months.  He is on strike.  He would like to stay with mommy as long as possible.  At least that's what the OB's tell me.

Baby is still super high.  I am not dilated.  My cervix is "Thinning and very soft, about 50%"  Whatever that means.  I asked if she thinks there is a chance I'll go into labor within the next week, and her reply was quick and delivered with a smile - NOPE!

Next week I have my surgical consult for my C-section, and then 1 week later is my c-section.  So the count down is on.

13 days till baby Isaac arrives!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The call

In 2009 I did my fertility treatments, Injections, IUI's, IVF and a frozen egg transfer.  Before I could do any of those things, my husband and I had to have blood work done for infectious diseases.  I knew that I would have the antibodies for 1 of the things tested, because in 2000 I was sexually assaulted and at the disclosure hearing it was disclosed he had tested positive for Chlamydia at the time of arrest.

It wasn't till Monday that I started to have anxiety about everything, so I made my appointment a day earlier to discuss this with the OB.  She asked about the infectious panel I had done, and told her that I remember they said something else was "borderline" too...But that I didn't know what it was, and I never looked into it, because the IVF nurse told me not to worry about it.

And that's when I was told that it was HSV.  herpes.  But how could that be?  I've never had a cold sore in my life, I've never had sores down below...and then we were educated that some people don't have signs or symptoms.  I thought nothing of it, and said meh, we'll do the c-section.  Especially if I didn't show any signs of having that.

She told us it's usually less than 1% of those who pass it on to their babies, but because I had no show of it, aka lesions, that it could be as high as 3% chance of him getting it due to viral shedding.  That alot of times the outcome is fetal demise.  She started me right away on some pills, that are suppose to suppress any outbreaks, visible or not, and sent me for blood work.

And that's when it started...the googling.  I found alot of information on this, and read alot of positive outcomes, and some doom and gloom ones.  I was heartbroken.  I was sad because I didn't know, and even though I didn't know, I was sad I put my son in this situation.

Another hard thing was to call my family and explain this to them.  You know, since HSV comes with a Stigma.  I couldn't even say HSV or herpes, because I was worried what others thought.  I even sent my husband to pick up the prescription. 

I've been up for 2 days crying.  I've been researching to find out everything I can on this.  I've been looking into pediatricians who may specialize in it, I've been preparing for the worse...Then I got the call

Everything came back normal.  I don't have it. 

I think I may go sleep for a week.

Got the Call

I'll update in a bit.  Waiting for my husband to get home to tell him, and then I'll fill you guys in. 

ps.  It's good news!

Baby News

When you hear percentages like 1% or 3% you think nothing about it.  Like, you have a 3% chance that you'll win the lotto!  You know not to hold your breath.  You know not to sit there and really day dream too much and spend that money before the winner is announced.

But when you're told that your baby has a 1% to 3% chance to get sick after he's born, and that death usually occurs, you can't help but do what you'd never do if those were your odds for the lottery.  You sit there and dwell on it, and start to plan.

Just last week I was counting down to 37 weeks to be full term. and now all I can think about is trying not to go into labor for another 2.5 weeks.  I need these weeks to prepare myself.  I need more time with knowing he's okay.

I should be getting a call today with some test results.  I am praying that they come back saying it was a mistake.  But I also know the reality.  After I get the call this afternoon we will be booking flights for my family for the c-section. 

So with that I'm asking for some prayers.  Prayers that Isaac won't be apart of that 1-3% that will be getting sick.  That he will be born healthy and strong.  And that no matter what, I don't go into labor before Feb 8th, and my family is able to be here with us to celebrate his little life as soon as he's born.

I'll share more when I'm more comfortable, but at this time, I just can't.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Good, The Bad...and the Ugly

I had my next OB appointment scheduled for Wednesday, but I had it changed to this morning.  I've been dealing with alot of anxiety and wanted to see someone and get reassurance. 

Today I found out that I tested positive for the Strep B swab I had done last week.  Found out that my cervix is still closed up.  And then was given this doctors opinion....She said she wouldn't recommend a Vbac for me. 

She went over my old OP notes, my ultrasound, the actual size of my pelvis and the fact that baby is measuring in the 70% line, and my belly is now measuring 42 weeks at 36 weeks...She doesn't even think if baby was to be born now he would fit. 

You can have someone 4ft give birth to a 10lb baby.  Your body adjusts.  But sometimes there are people who just have small frames with a "lip?" on their pelvis bone.  Which does explain some things at my 1st c-section.  Jayleen was stuck in my pelvis, and they had to manually push her head out of my pelvis to get her birthed by c-section..she had the biggest cone head, ever!

So it looks like all that Raspberry Leaf tea I bought will just be sitting in the cupboard!  I have exactly 3 weeks till my c-section.  I might as well just try and relax and enjoy some quiet time (if only these dogs would stop crying!!!)

Friday, January 14, 2011

I can barely sit down....

I slipped and fell on ice this morning =[  I was in the backyard on my porch when I noticed it was an ice rink, but it was too late.  I fell really hard on my bottom/left hip and smacked my ankle against the pavement,..and that's when I started to slide and roll onto my belly.  The only thing to stop me was the dog!  Poor girl. 

I laid there crying for a few minutes before I was able to crawl back inside.  Thank goodness the baby started kicking right away, and within 10 minutes he had the hiccups.  He's now thrashing around inside more than any other morning.  and it hurts!  It feels like my cervix is bruised, and he's hitting it? 

I'm just lucky that that fall wasn't worse than what it was.

I'd rather have snow than this ice.  Or have the snow ice over, at least that way I can see it!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

35weeks - 0 dilation

I just had my 35 week visit at the OB.  I had to sit there waiting in my room for 30 mins with no bottoms on because there was an emergency in the room next to us.  Some lady at 30 weeks pregnant had her bag of water in her vagina =[  So the ambulance had to come bring her to the hospital.

I got my strep B swab done today, and while measuring my belly I got a really strong Braxton Hicks.  She decided to wait till it was over because my belly went rock hard and stuck out. lol  I am measuring 40 weeks.  40 weeks!

She also decided to do a quick cervix check.  0 dilation, but mentioned that it was thinning out nicely.  She then went over my old c-section notes.  Scar on my uterus is normal, so I can try for a VBAC =)  The reason documented for the C-section was "Failure to progress"

I ran to Walmart on my way home to pick up some Raspberry leaf tea,...yeah, hardest thing to find!  It's the last thing on the ingredient list on 2 different kinds.  I figure I'll start drinking some of this one, and then next week I'll look for a better one.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Nursery 1.5

I've been trying to finish up the nursery the past week, and been sorta stuck.  We decided to add some color, because it was looking dark and gloomy. 

We will be adding a storage shelf next weekend against the wall with the bath set box, and I still need to find a lamp with a dimmer that I like.  It just seems like minor stuff left!  Oh and of course we will be moving the bassinet into our room once the baby arrives. 

Ps.  I managed to crazy glue 2 of my fingers to a canvas today!

Here are some shots from today:

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

34 weeks with Pupps!

Pupps sounds cute, but I assure you, it's not!  My belly, thighs, and legs are on fire from all the scratching.  Not much I can do but try to control the scratching and hope that the rash doesn't get darker or spread.

I am officially 34 weeks, and I finally got a hold of my old C-section records and had them forwarded to the OB.  I go in on the 12th and I am hoping they agree to allow me try to have a vaginal birth. =)  If so, and if my cervix is dilated some, I will get my membranes stripped at my 37th week appt. and I will try my best to try and go into labor before Feb 8th. (My scheduled C-section date)

The rules are:

Go into Labor without induction
Labor at the hospital to be monitored
AND I have to go into labor before my scheduled date

We did a huge Babies R Us trip last weekend to pick the last of the baby gear.  We ordered his cloth diapers and his jogging stroller on Amazon...I think I am starting to believe that this might happen!

Here is my belly at 34 weeks..I would do a bare shot, but I may or may not have scratch marks =[